not feeling good

@Zoe7 @BlueBay @eudemonism @Former-Member @Owlunar @MDT I survived social outing.First one in a very long time. People were friendly. I enjoyed it.

People comment why I single and alone in my fifties. I wasn't too sad. Got home mum with early dementia asks questions. I a bit irritated or sad for her.

So I recommend psychologist .It seems to work.

@eudemonism @BlueBay @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Owlunar @MDT @outlander Parents are not always supportive. My father did a lot of damage to my life. But still he was my father. I feel a bit sad this morning. The people yesterday kept saying how regretful that I end up by myself, no partner and no kids. I am learning not to expect too much of life. My feet are hurting at the heels when standing or walking. My mum keeps repeating over and over. I am physically healthy, have a good job, still can pay my bills, can drive my old car, have forum friends.

Wish you all a good day.

Let us know what is happening.

Hi @Meowmy

You seem to be a very positive person in spite of your battles - I am glad you got out for a social event and that it all worked out well - I have found people mostly friendly too - maybe because I have learned to smile before I speak - it really works for me - I get people's happy faces in return and although I don't go out socially much I enjoy regular events and appointments and life is where we find it - I have learned

I am alone in my "much later than my 50s" - I have been married and I had a long term relationship and sharing one's life is not always what it might seem. I was incredibly lonely when I was married - and then in my other relationship - when I maintained my own home rather than get involved in a situation that would be hard to get out of - I found my friend inclined to play "games" - how disappointing! - and so really - it's your own business why you are alone and if people ask smile and say it works for you

And you have your mother with early dementia - and that is a challenge and responsibilty for you - what you seem to be putting first - naturally - that is a huge change in your life and now the decisions are yours and something I have found hard being alone is not having someone to talk things through with - but I think we learn as we go along - I have - but even after all these years I wish I had someone to talk things over with -

I am really glad you have joined these forums and are sharing your experiences - you seem to have found your feet here quickly and I am glad for that

Dec

Good morning @Meowmy ... I really love your rosy positive attitude, despite all that life has thrown at you.

Its really good to try to remain focused on the positives in our lives. Most of us, me included, tend to look too often at all the bad things in our life ... and that can result in missing many good things which happen along the way. The good things dont even have to be big, even small things add up and enhance and enrich our lives. Its lovely that you are able to do that ... congratulations to you.

Hey @BlueBay ... how are you today?

Hello @Owlunar @eudemonism @Zoe7 and anyone else dropping by throughout the day.

Sherry 🌺

Hi @eudemonism

I found my family hard to get along with through the darkest years of my life and went on with it all without their help too - my father wanted me back in the family and I was there for his sake until he died - after that I was out again and I am still out - like you - better not to expect anything much from my siblings - luckily I get along with myself which is more important but I do understand with what you write - I don't make the effort to see my siblings though - and both my parents have gone now -

We can make the effort at times if it works and you are right - with families we have to put ourselves out - now and again I make the effort with my extended family and get on well with them but find months can pass and there is nothing coming back and it makes me wonder - perhaps they are happy with the family they have around

But it is sad to hear it - I have my daughter - the Rose of my Life - she is wonderful - and then her families - I get along well with all of them but see them rarely - people seem to be busy with their own lives and I think it's great if I see most of them once a year and see the little kids growing up -

Hopefully I will see my daughter and her husband over Easter - I need to send them a text -

I wish you the best with your family @eudemonism - being the one doing all the reaching out is hard work - I hear you

Dec

@Owlunar @BlueBay @Former-Member @eudemonism @Zoe7 @MDT thanks for post. I would probably feel a lot better if this life had been my own choice. My father made me not able to have any relationships as he was very controlling. I mostly regret when I was at Uni, my father forcefully removed me from my opportunity to good relationship and marriage. Since his death, the trauma still live on in me. But I am in a better place now that I hope I can now live my life better.

Hi @Meowmy

I understand and hear very well what you are saying about controlling parents -

Were you allowed to complete your university degree? - I hope so - I think education is enabing and empowering but still - your father now allowing you the chance to have a relationship is really hard. My parents were very controlling too - I don't know what they expected of us - luckily they didn't stop me from going to night school to do an accounting diploma - I didn't go there to find a partner but I did and I did marry him though everyone tried to stop it -

And of course the more people tried to make it harder the more determined I became and it was a wrong choice and sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been insistent and gone ahead anyway if I would have ever got away from my controlling parents

Who knows - somethings just work out and others do not

But young people have to make their own choices regardless - I let my own kids make their choices

Dec