not feeling good

@BlueBay

don`t feel bad my sister as you are there for your son and he knows it and

Now your d and Ayla can move in your sons room.which will give you your room back xxxx

sending you big knowing hugs about our children :

have been there my sister , have been there to pick up the pieces and to see them go on they new adventures , loving and caring for them

I’m stopping my meds

I’m very angry

had argument with hubby

cant talk niw

I don’t care about my meds

Hi @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Razzle @Owlunar

last night my d hubby and I were in the kitchen. My d was getting something out of a drawer sbd commented on how messy the drawer. It’s the utensil drawer. Then she says I’m going to tidy this up. Then she starts on the pantry and says she wants to tidy it up.

Ok di the pantry stuff is nit organised in sections or there not all in containers but you can still find stuff.

This is where the argument starts.

Hubby turns around and says ”oh don’t tell me about the pantry I’ve orhsnised it once and it was tidy but now it’s really messy. I’m nit doing it sgsin. Everyone is messy”.

I turned around angrily snd dsud “don’t start on this sgsin” I walked off. And he kept saying it’s messy.

I said I’m going to bed because I’m messy.

I was so angry and went to bed.

See this is the stuff that gets me sngry.

Why does he keep going.

Then he goes on about the whole house and how it’s messy.

Hearing you @BlueBay , and feeling for you so much. I am the regular tidy one in the house. The rest of the family let things fall apart, then blitz them back into order every couple of months, then let them fall apart again. It drives me bananas, but I have lived with it so long now that I have learned to just move through my day, through my house, tidying things up here and there as I go, and switching off to the rest of it all. Sometimes we have arguments about it, and when we do, I just go out for a while to cool down. We have to live in the middle ground because I can’t change the way they function and we all have to share the living space, trying to keep to general rules only.

Please stay on your medications Hon. Life just gets way more uncomfortable for you every time you ditch them .... and you know this .... we have talked about the effects of self-saboutage before .... be strong about this ❤️

@Faith-and-Hope My head and my thoughts are telling me strongly that these meds are poisoning me. I can’t have them anymore.

I’m trying to ignore hubbys comments. In one ear dnd out the other. I am going to do things the wsy I have. My house is very tidy clean. Clothes are washed every day folded and put away.

Dinner always cooked. I take pride in my house. It’s judt his comments.

I’ve emailed my psych and told him.

Going to hrlp son clean his place.

At least I get to be on my own tomorrow

Time out for ourselves is so important, no matter which side of mental illness we are dealing with, and burn-out happens on both sides too .... carers and lived experience .... it’s never easy and we all have to take things one day at a time, but we are all as important as each other. We all need a voice and loads of self-care in the mix.

Please make sure your specialist knows how your brain is reacting to taking the meds. It makes it so much more difficult, so communicating about that is a priority Hon .....

Hugs n hugs ..... feeling for you. I have a super-critical in-law family. My hubby makes so much mess and undoes my household management systems, then complains about the resulting mess ..... gah !!

I can so relate !!

❤️

I @BlueBay

I have been busy for the last few days and I didn't feel anything I posted could do you justice - I like to do my best when I am writing a sensitive reply

I can hear how frustrated you are and this has to be so hard - having other people interfer in your space would be infuriating - and personally I would not stand for it

Everyone has their systems and I do too and I know I am the only person who has the magic word about it. If my ex had interferred in my kitchen it would have led to World

War 111 and actually - what went on in my marriage - which was sad rather than bad - led to divorce - so I guess you do have some choices

It seems to me you are living on top of a situation that is leading to a massive explosion and I am terribly concerned for you -

I wrote back when your D moved in that there needed to be ground rules and Huffnpuff needs to take them on too - it's pretty basic to leave your kitchen alone - everyone else has their own space - or will - and the kitchen and pantry - the fridge and the mugs - is you space - and other people need to know that -

There's no excuse for Huffnpuff to interfer in your space - he needs to understand that

I really care about you BlueBay - I am glad you are getting onto your psyche and hope you can get into hospital really quickly - imo you need to unwind your head in your own time

I read the OCD comments here - my aunt - who is like a sister to me - has OCD - as we don't live together and I see them rarely it is something I notice and let it go past but I can understand it would be hard to live with - and yes - it does come to the point where Huffnpuff needs some councelling too - couples too - and it is really important

I actually don't know how you can stand so much of that happening - I personally couldn't stand it - but this might be because I have been alone for such a long time and went through "too many people in the house" a long time ago

And I am glad you are getting out of the house tomorrow - and really hope you get some really solid time out really soon

And - oh yeah - just thought of this - put the toaster where you want it - been through one of those issues myself in the past - it would be funny if it wasn't so serious

Dec

Hi @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope I’ve just read your replies. I can’t reply just yet. I will get back to both of you later on. Xx

Hi @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Razzle

@Owlunar don't worry I am going to move the toaster tomorrow when he is out. Going to put it back where it was. I don't like where he has put it at the moment!!!

i don't go in his garage and rearrange his stuff, OMG imagine if I did that. he would scream!!!

I do understand now he most likely has OCD and i am not playing it down, i just still need to work through it all and learn to cope with it and live with it.

so he should leave the kitchen and pantry to me. You're right @Owlunar at the momenty i don't have space, don't have any 'me' time and it is 'FRUSTRATING ME' to the piont of me wanting to escape, run away and even be on my own for a while.

Tomorrow i am going to go to the beach in the morning. Bring my book with me and just sit. I need to get out of the house. My D might come down with Ayla but if she doesn't that's fine. Actually i'm hoping in a way she doesn't come becasue i just want to be me.

You know i haven't released many tears lately, they are all bottled up. I always wait for my doctor's appt or psychologist appt and then i let it all out.

I totally agree with you that hubby does need some counselling together and alone. But i have tried a few times previously and he did come a few times but that was it. He did go once to a session but pulled out after one session.

No that's not for him, he says. i don't have a problem, he says. Right!!!

Yep @BlueBay ..... you have to share the space, and compromise is important .... but I agree with you, and telling him that if he is going to be moving things around in a space that you generally manage, like the kitchen, then it’s only fair that you get to move things around in the areas that he generally manages, like the garage ..... and try to say it calmly and matter-of-factly ..... and with a straight face ..... and see how he responds maybe. It’s probably something he has never considered, and it might be enough for him to be more considerate.