Hi @BlueBay and also @Faith-and-Hope @Razzle @Shaz51
BlueBay I hope you are feeling much better today? All that love and baby cuddles with little Ayla must be a total pleasure to you. When does your son move into his new rental accommodation?
You asked me for some more information about OCD, which I have now done. I hope some of this may be useful in determining whether your husband may have OCD as well as a bit of insight about it from someone who suffers from it (me). Its a bit long, sorry about that, but it is a combination of my own personal experience as well as official well known information about OCD.
The exact cause of OCD is not officially known, although it is often triggered by a traumatic event in a person's life. This was certainly the case for me. You are right too Faith-and-Hope, that OCD is very much a coping mechanism. And often it is closely related to a need to regain control over our lives.
When my own PTSD is triggered, I go into my typical OCD behaviours and rituals. Whereas when I am doing okay in general with my anxiety, I am mostly able to control my OCD thoughts and behaviours to the extent that they do not cause any major distress. Usually I manage it quite well, and for me it fluctuates in its intensity, depending upon my levels of anxiety. But when its bad, I find it quite distressing to deal with. It plays with my mind night and day, and becomes all encompassing.
Some people have both the Obsessive and the Compulsive behaviours, where as others have only one or the other. Obsessions are the worrying thoughts which causes anxiety. Compulsions are the behaviours you use to relieve that anxiety. The compulsions are particularly troubling for me personally.
Signs of OCD tends to begin slowly and become more intense as you get older. For many people, symptoms come and go, but it’s usually something we live with for a lifetime. Without treatment severe cases of OCD can be quite disabling with a considerable impact on quality of life.
Some common obsessions associated with OCD include:
- anxiety about germs and dirt, or fear of contamination
- need for symmetry and order
- concern that your thoughts or compulsions will harm others, feeling you can keep other people safe by performing certain rituals
- worry about discarding things of little or no value
- disturbing thoughts or images about yourself or others
Some of the behaviours that stem from these obsessive thoughts include:
- excessive hand washing, repetitive showering, unnecessary household cleaning
- continually arranging and reordering things to get them just right
- checking the same things over and over even though you know you’ve already checked them
- hoarding unnecessary material possessions like old newspapers and used wrapping paper rather than throwing them away
- counting or repeating a particular word or phrase. Performing a ritual like having to touch something a certain number of times or take a particular number of steps
- focusing on positive thoughts to combat the bad thoughts
These are examples only, and some people experiencing OCD may have all of these, others only a few, and others may have numerous other possiblities.
My own OCD manifests itself mainly with a need for order, symmetry, safety, etc. For example ... I need things to be in their correct places ... I need to constantly check doors, ovens, heaters, etc ... even though I know I have put my credit card back in my wallet, I have to check that it's there, again and again ... even though I can clearly recall having locked my door when going out, I still have to go back and check again, and again ... When I wash up I need to have plates, cups, glasses etc each in their right place in the dish rack ... when I hang out washing on the line, things have to be lined up correctly, similar things together, pegs colour coordinated ... things sitting on tables need to be perfectly aligned ... and so it goes on.
And I count things ... all the time ... and I make patterns out of things. I become obsessed with it. An example is when I lie awake at night, I look at my digital clock by the bedside. I tell myself that the numbers need to be right when I open my eyes to look, or else something bad will happen. When I look, and the numbers are not right (it needs to be a 0 or a 5 number) I go into a panic. Something awful is about to happen, so I try again to make the numbers right. I calculate or manipulate the numbers to somehow make the numbers on the clock acceptable to me. Sometimes I sit and make patterns out of a brick wall, counting and putting brick patterns together over and over.
When hubby on the very rare occasion washes up or hangs out washing, I very much appreciate that he does that. But I freak out until I have had the chance to re-peg everything on the line the way I need it to be, or to restack the dishes in a way which is acceptable to me. I try not to let him see me do this, or he would be understandably upset. I've been told many times that I'm just plain crazy. But it's just something I need to do. I can be a total pain in the butt, believe me.
But I should add that just because somebody like things done a certain way or chooses to arrange their spice rack in alphabetical order, it does not necessarily mean they have OCD. However, if obsessive thoughts or ritualistic behaviours feel like they are out of your control and are interfering with your life, then it is time to seek treatment. There are a number of therapies which are fairly successful in helping people with OCD to manage their obsessions and compulsions.
I hope BlueBay, and you too Faith-and-Hope, some of this may be helpful to you. It may offer a little bit of insight into what we OCD people go through. I actually find it a little upsetting because OCD is often considered funny in the general public. How many times have you heard someone say "oh they are a little bit OCD". Clearly they dont understand what its like, or they would not be making light of something like that. Believe me, it isnt funny and should not be joked about as it can be quite hurtful.
I will try to post again about possible ways to help someone with OCD, but I think this is quite a long enough post for now already. And besides, I need an afternoon nap as exhaustion is setting in. Time to start clock watching .. and calculating ... and making patterns from my brick wall in the bedroom. Argh !!!!!!!!!!
Sherry 
