not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

Your forum peers are here for support but if you need time away that's okay too. Sometimes when things are overwhelming it can be a good idea to not try to hard to make big decisions. Maybe you can take some time to focus on self care. Maybe do some reading through of threads in the 'looking after ourselves' area.

Might be good to reach out to your GP or one of the below helplines

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Hi @Former-Member

I think last night I made a big mistake. I never mean to leave fir good. I get so overwhelmed and hurt and emotional thst I make rash decisions.

I will try to look at the self care section as you mentioned.

I want to apologise to my friends fir worrying them with my post last night.

@Shaz51 @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Razzle @Zoe7

i need to keep communicating with the forum. It’s my only space to talk vent or listen to others. As you know I don’t talk at home much snd I really need this forum. It’s been my lifeline for me.

Thanks @Former-Member for your support xxx

I'm here for you @BlueBay if you need to talk sometime. No need to apologise for your post last night. It was a little upsetting I admit, but it was how you felt at the time. Glad @Former-Member was able to help you through.

Sherry 💕

I’m really sorry I never mean to upset or hurt anyone @Former-Member

I’m in the city for my ACT session. Hubby is driving me in.

I hope you have a nice and thst you’re ok. Chat later on xx

I understand @BlueBay - you really are battling at the moment and it seems to me that your have a reaction of leaving when things get to be too much

And your recent last straw might have been Huffnpuff taking a day away two weekends in a row to go out with his mater - and you don't get to go out for a day and come home to all the work done - clean house - washing done - dinner cooked

Aw - I get that - he can do that but you can't - it's so hurtful isn't it - I have a good guess here but I have a strong feeling most women identify -

Sometime way back in prehistory a woman started cleaning up the cave when her mate was off hunting the dinner and once she picked up that broom our destiny was set - we are in charge of the cleaning most of the time and it really does feel unfair

Living alone as I do I come back to whatever I left undone - my Gran was a wise old lady - really - she was younger than I am now but her ideas were good - she would say never go out and leave something you do not want someone else to find - yet a lot of men and children do it all the time

You seem terribly lonely and miserable right now - it's easier when you know what's happening but there have been a lot of changes lately and this is hard for you to cope with

And we get it - we understand -

All the best with your ACT session today - learning to accept changes and commit to the difference isn't easy but worth the effort

All the best

Dec

Hi @BlueBay I know how you feel when you want to run away, I feel like it all the time, but I think you run like I do - not ACTUALLY away anywhere, you run deep inside yourself, the only

place you feel protected. Ive been there a lot lately, I’m having a hard time myself these last few weeks so I’ve been running, deep down inside where my protective bubble is.

To everyone else I have withdrawn, it’s not doing my marriage or friendships any favours, but I’m hurting right now and I need to protect myself before I do ACTUALLY run somewhere. Problem is, all the shit, and problems and darkness are running with me to where I think I’m protected, I’m not running away from anything, it’s all bloody following me.

Please keep reaching out to us, you are being heard, we do care, on some level we can even understand. Some people have been where you are, some of us are even there now, and some people are going to stumble across this thread and know there are others out there and that they are not alone. You’re not alone ❤️❤️

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@Razzle wrote:

Hi @BlueBay I know how you feel when you want to run away, I feel like it all the time, but I think you run like I do - not ACTUALLY away anywhere, you run deep inside yourself, the only

place you feel protected. Ive been there a lot lately, I’m having a hard time myself these last few weeks so I’ve been running, deep down inside where my protective bubble is.

Well said @Razzle - that makes so much sense -

I had lots of dreams about running away when I was a child - I think I was running deep inside to where I was protected too -

Thanks for writing that - I think it might be true for a lot of people

Dec

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Hi @Owlunar @Razzle @Former-Member

Thankyou for your support and love.

@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7

I’m feeling flat today after my ACT session. It went well although a few times I cried and we talked about it.

My rational mind knows what to do and understands at times but it’s my emotional mind thst instantly takes over in a split second.

So my homework - I need to accept thst I’m having a thought of being angry or emotional. Just sit with that thought snd accept the feeling I feel in my body.

Acceptance is very difficult for me but I’m giving this a go this week.

My therapist told me tiday thst because of my childhood trauma my mums controlling and manipulative behaviour towards me - this has shaped me to how I am tiday. And now it’s like I need to let my past go and live my life forward. Easier said than done.

He told me thst in 4 sessions nit a lot csn chsnge but if I can get a little bit out if this then it’s great.

He was really good today. I opened up to him about my good/bad right/wrong theory and he totally understood.

See him next Wednesday for last time.

Its been a long tiring day. Just put dinner on - shepherds pie.

Sitting outside on deck in the sun although a bit windy. But fresh air is nice.

@Owlunar What you’re saying I can totally relate. Hubby is going out on Sunday for the day and I’ve just thought before in my head “stuff him I’m going g to the beach” if my d and Ayla want to join me they can. Otherwise I’m going alone.

Our son moves out this Sunday. Another chsnge.

Mither in law in hospital this week with bowel issues. She’s back in nursing home tonight. So that’s been stressful as well.

I have too much going on. I wake up during the night worrying about everyone and everything.

My migraine has eased tiday. Took a good few days to ease up. Seeing Chiro tomorrow fir my neck. I have a feeling it’s out.

I hope you are all ok. Xxxxx❤️❤️❤️❤️

That all sounds really positive @BlueBay . What a shame you only have one session remaining. But if you are able to take something away from your 4 sessions, then its most definitely been worthwhile.

Shepherds pie sounds yum. We are having fish .. Orange roughy .. And steamed asparagus and carrot. It was hot here earlier but it got quite windy a couple of hours ago, and its blown in a cooler change. Very pleadant.

Good to hear migraine has finally eased. Hope your chiro can manipulate the neck tomorrow and perhaps further ease the lingering headache in the process.

Hope your evening is restful and as stress free as a full house can be.

Sherry 😄

sending you big hugs my sister @BlueBay

walking with you xxxxx