not feeling good

Hi @Owlunar@Former-Member@Razzle@Zoe7@Shaz51

I had a terrible night. Nightmare of being chased snd shot. And the worst bit it was my brother. I couldn’t sleep. Have a throbbing headache.

Ayla woke up at 5.30 so I tried to get her to sleep again whuch she did for another hour. I’m wrecked. So tired and teary. But holding it in. I think everyone is getting cranky. Hubby is def cranky. He’s always cranky!!! My d is a bit cranky and me - well I’m tired and crsnky!!

so it’s a crsnky household. Older son asleep just got home from night shift. Younger son out fir the day with his mates.

We’re all trying to adjust and yrs it’s difficult but we’re managing - just.

I think I need to walk to get rid of my anger and my emotions.

Hope you are all doing ok.

Thinking of you all

BB xxxooo

Cranky household @BlueBay -I definitely understand and I think it is the right time for you to get out of the house and have time to yourself - with one son asleep and the other out - Huffnpuff cranky - let him straighten out the cups - oh yes - something I am dying to say - put them up in the cupboard or on the shelf any old way and give him something to do

I'm glad your D is taking time to think about all the is happening - I have made this decision myself and haven't regretted it but then I didn't have a baby - and it's a tough decision - but people can and do make lives for themselves

I keep thinking about the abuse you suffered and in no way can the fact be diminished but I wonder when talking about it with your therapist is worth the way it destroys your life afterwards - does it help you at all because I refuse to talk about the shit I had from my mother anymore - she has gone and nothing can change and I have put that out of my life - yes - it happened but I can't do anything about it and it has been a relief to let it go - how I wish this could happen for you - to have the relief that comes from letting it go

And about your mother coming "to speak with you" - if she is in your house you have the advantage - if you want to tell her about your brother and your other abusers it's your choice - but I strongly encourage you to take control over the conversation and insist that she leaves if she starts to get at you.

It would be wonderful to have the vindication that comes when someone admits their part in the anguish of your past - my father did - not my mother. We can wish and wish for something that isn't likely to ever happen - but it was wonderful when my father talked to me at the end of his life - he started to fade after that conversation and I think I was the lucky one to have that conversation everyone should have - and it was a long time coming

So at this stage you don't know what your mother has to say - worrying won't help but keeping your cool will - and insist on peace in your own home

You have so much happening right now - I get unsettled when too much happens at once - I wish it would go away and just let me live my life - so what you are feeling about all of this is pretty normal I think - it's like being in surf and not knowing when you are going to get dumped

One day at a time - being a victim of your circumstances isn't any fun - it's a very unhappy quality of life - my feeling is though that having it better is not far away - fear can take so much away from anyone -

You are a strong and loving person - you have a lot to give and already do - you just need to push that curtain aside and see that - I wish you could

Sending all the love and strength of have

Dec

Things have turned out bad today. Ayla’s dad and my D arranged the other day to take Ayla to the park today. When my daughter text him to say she’ll meet him at the park he said for her to pick him up because he had no petrol. She drives there and he says no I’m not going g because I’m sunburnt. My d cracked it and went in and told him she isn’t going back to him. He is so angry and told Ayla “your mum has ruined our filt”!!!!! WTF

he is the one that didn’t even want Ayla. He told me d to have an abortion.

Can you believe it!!

he is now sending her very angry text messages. He told her she will never find anyone. All afternoon. She is keeping the messages of proof.

He is being very nasty to her.

Im so glad my d has made her decision. He also told her that if they got bsvk together it would only be for Ayla. Not for my daughter.

I think we’re in for a tough time.

@Owlunar@Former-Member@Razzle@Zoe7@Shaz51

All evidence suggests she has indeed made the right decision @BlueBay

Oh @BlueBay. This guy sounds like a right royal pri€k. Looks like she’s dodged a bullet, she doesn’t need a month to sort it out, looks like he’s managed to do it himself in 1 afternoon.

There is so much better out there for her. He says she’ll never find anyone, that’s complete bull$hit, fact is he’ll never find anyone that will put up with his crap like she did. Besides, for now, being on her own with Ayla is 1000% better than being with him any time.

Atleast she knows where she stands now and can start moving forward again instead of waiting to find out what the hell he’s about. I wish her well, I think she will be so much happier without him sucking the life out of her.

❤️❤️

Thanks @Zoe7 she is better off without him.

@Razzle

i know that she’s made the right decision but I couldn’t tell her. I’m so proud of her. She’s a very strong woman. And a fantastic mum.

She doesn’t need him.

He text her before to say “come snd pick all your stuff before end of week”. She’s going with my hubby. Once she’s got everything she’s done with him. She’s told the agent she wants her name off the lease. She’s already signed paperwork.

Will have to somehow put her stuff in our house.

I kniw she’ll meet someone one day and I hope whoever she meets treats her right with love respect and be caring to her and Ayla. She deserves someone better than this guy.

I just hope he doesn’t give her any trouble.

@BlueBay Document EVERYTHING. She needs to screen shot her text messages, and social media posts as evidence - print them out and start a folder, don’t rely on the info all stored in her phone in case she loses it. If he contacts yourself or other family members they need to do the same. He sounds like a real narcissist, and it’s usually their own ego that is their undoing. The fact that he’s still trying to enforce power over her through text messages just proves how insecure and threatened he is now. She is clearly the stronger (and smarter) one. Good riddance to bad rubbish I’d say.

She is very lucky to have you in her corner, that’s very important and something she’ll never forget. Feeling your support without the judgement will help her get through this. I know this still means a lot of people in your home,

but you must feel so much better now she has left him, I hope you can rest a little easier tonight.

I also hope the visit from your mum brings you some closure too. I know you won’t expect it, but wouldn’t it be nice if she wants to see you to extend the olive branch. I really hope it goes this way ❤️❤️

I really feel for you with the dreams you’ve been having lately. I had a terrible dream/flash back? I’m not sure what it was, but I’ve been pretty rattled by it since - and I CANT stop thinking about it which just makes everything so much worse. The memories, they never stop. Just one day without remembering what happened, to feel normal, oh what I would give for that.

Hi @Razzle thanks for your reply. My d has taken photos of the text messages. But I will tell her yo document everything. Good idea.

I had a terrible night agsin. Nightmares of losing little Ayla. Nightmares of my abusers sgsin.

I better get up snd shower. Going for a walk eith my d and Ayla down the beach walking track. Then a coffee.

I was really stressed thinking ehst uf this idiot takes Ayla and disappears. It happens. And thinking that made me cry.

I cant think like that. I just hope he calms down with the texts.

Of course I won’t tell my d about my fears

we’ll just have to be careful.

One of these days I’m going to leave and disappear

never to come back

I’m over it

over listening to bloody huff and puff hubby complaining about the bloody desk and bills in drawer. He’s whinging over and over. I feel like screaming to SHUT UP!!!

have to go

I’m too angry to write anymore

im so hurt

do I go in the garage and tell him how much f###ng rubbish he has

no I don’t

Gosh I feel so bloody angry

I want to hit someone something punch kick and sh

im going

No - You're not going @BlueBay - because you are a good mother and you will stand by your daughter though all of this

You all just have to be very careful through all of this because the ex might get nasty - and although you are crashing around inside your head etc - I know you will be there with her -

I personally think it's very important for your daughter to go to the police about the texts the ex has been sending - the most dangerous time for a woman is when she breaks up with a partner and I think there is an app she can get for her phone that will secretly record any conversation your D has with the ex - it's something to find out about anyway

And Huffnpuff needs to settle down - he is not the main player here - just her father - and seeing as he is her father he needs to provide support for the family as well as you - it's a rotten hard time to be going through

There's no need to meet trouble head-on but you all need to be prepared and to make sure Ayla is safe - I have D can find an agency that can give her advice on this - I know such assistance exists

Wishing your whole family the best right now - and yes - I can imagine but it's only something I about - I haven't been through that

Dec