not feeling good

Let me know how you get on BB @BlueBay.

I'm having a blood test tomorrow.

@Zoe7 Don’t see my doctor until next Monday. But I csn csll him anytime. Or see his colleague. Sleep well tonight. Xxx

@oceangirl good luck with your blood test. Xxx

Hi @BlueBay

I am sorry you feel so weak and tired and I totally get it and wonder why the doctors don't - but then - perhaps they don't know that your husband is a Huffnpuff with some kind of OCD and worries more about the order of the cups in the cupboard than the state of the food in the fridge etc - and you - how exhausted you must be having had 4 days in hospital with high BP and all the tests etc - I get that

I think you probably have some kind of BP issue - I do too - and reading the supportive messages here we are not alone - other people do too - and then there is White Coat Syndrome - but you have serious marital issues as well and it seems to me that you are the main driving force in your marriage - you do things I either couldn't or wouildn't do depending on the situation - you frequently go to work when you are feeling exhausted and have bad headaches - it comes over clearly to me because I have been there I think - and I remember that my health improved after I separated from my husband

You want to hold onto your marriage but you need some help with this - he is not listening to what you say and when you try to talk ahout your health it is really hard for you - one reason is that he isn't really doesn't understand - he must be so frustrating

You do need couple's counselling and I know the usual way of getting that is expensive - but if you go through the church it might be easier and cheaper -

I really feel for you trying to work it out on your own as you are because it takes two to work on a marriage - that's what your vows were about - I didn't want to break mine either but it's impossible to do it alone

But in the meantime - put yourself first and try and rest and then try and do some walking when it is quiet around your area - walk away from the huffing and puffing - I would get angry too - it's really a horrible time and your health has to come first right now

Thinking of you a lot

Dec

I just read that back - perhaps he can see the order of the cups and thinks he can fix everything if they are in the right order - why not ask him why the cups have to be in a certain order - what difference it makes - as if you are curious -

btw- I am very curious why that is so important to him - he must have a reason but my cups are just where I put them on the shelf - mmm - that's puzzles me - the order of the cups I mean

Hi @Owlunar I have no idea why he is so OCD with the bloody cups. He is now complaining to himself but I can hear him, thst the bench is messy snd the study is messy. I’m close to saying yo him (swear) off. Snd yell st him.

Its my D birthday so they came for dinner snd we had a cake for her. She turned 27. How time flies.

Ive made a doctors appt for tomorrow to see snout my blood pressure. I’m still lightheaded. K think I’m just exhausted from stress and my mentsl health.

If I had my way I would have more time off work - but I can’t for money reasons.

Im just about to burst.

Some days are harder than others

it can be a frustrating angry day

I’m definitely not like my mother

I just want to cry

Some days I feel there’s nothing left in me

to fight this to keep going

I wish I was strong enough

but of course I’m not

some days I feel I should just go

the psin the hurt the anger eats me up

I just wish I was in hospital sgsin

I was able to be on my own

I feel my heart is ripped apart and can never be mended

I hate my when people tell me “you need to get over it” or “you need to forget”

how the hell do you get over it or forget

Easy for them to say

they don’t have a mental illness

I’m exhausted don’t feel good

and just damn depressed

im sorry if this sounds negative

but it’s how I’m feeling right

hug and hugs my sister @BlueBay

Thankyou sis @Shaz51

how are you? Is your mum in hospital still? Xxxooo

yes mum is still in hospital my sis @BlueBay

bit aching tonight , was our first day back to work today , so I think i will bein bed soon

xxxxxx

A nice epsom salt bath would be good @Shaz51

and a early night. Think I’ll go to bed soon.

Chat tomorrow. Sleep well sis ❤️

sounds like a good idea sis @BlueBay

sitting with you

hope you have a good sleep xxx