not feeling good

Hi @Owlunar

your post gave me tears, happy tears. I have always looked up to you as a 'mother figure' and i really appreciate and love the communication we can have on here.

Boy it's hard. I think because my mum made my decisions for me all my life i now find it extremely difficult to make my own decisions, i think in case of getting it wrong, therefore i failed. I know a lot of this thinking is borderline personality disorder thinking and it is so tough to change. Sometimes i wish my mum never made my decisions, that she taught me to make my own and if i got them wrong i would learn. but now in my 50's i struggle 😞

i know i tell my GP exactly how i feel but sometimes i get annoyed because i feel no one is listening.

i know you are listening to me, and that's why i am so glad we have reconnected on here.

Today was a really shit day. i got a phone call before work and they asked if i could do all the deliveries (medication packs) to our customers and our second pharmacy as well. The lady who normally does them was unable to do them today. I told them i had an appt at 2pm when i finish work and couldn't stay back. To be honest i didn't want to do them as it is stinking hot out there and i would be in and out of the car.

Anway when i got to work at 10am i was asked to do the deliveries and do as many as i can by 2pm.

Boy was I angry. I grabbed the packs and had to go to the other pharmacy to pck up theres as well. I was so angry becasue i felt that i always get the crap jobs and why couldn't the other pharmacy do their own delivery.

I got in the car and broke down, crying feeling crap. i rang my doctor to chat but he wasn't in so i spoke to the nurse who I've spoken to before. she listened and i swore a few times (which i don't ever do) but i told her how angry i was and how hopeless i felt and how i don't feel appreciated at work. she stayed on the phone until i calmed down.

I finally did all the deliveries driving a total of 72km around. but i didn't manage to finsih the other pharmacy, only having 4 left.

went back to work and my boss said thankyou. only had 10min to gulp my lunch down and leave for the day.

took the rest of the other pharmacy back to them and no thank you from their store manager, but i got a thanks for one of the other staff member.

anyway that's my rant for the day. i am no home wityh the air cond on and having a coffee.

I hope your day was better than mine

xxxxooo

Hi @Owlunar. the cast is becoming an annoyance, especially since the weather has heated up so much today. I’m having a bit of trouble with swelling which is causing a little pain.

Paid my hospital bill today. It makes me so mad when I was taken there by ambulance, waited an hour for the Dr to show up - I was the only patient in A & E, and he decided not to call in X-ray because I wasn’t in enough pain. I do have a high pain threshold, but because I wasn’t a screaming mess (Thankyou green whistle and a hit of morphine) he assumed it wasn’t a major injury. Just pi$$es me off.

Never had a sprain, thank goodness by the sounds of it, sounds like you had a terrible time of it. Hope you don’t have any lasting problems from it.

Well, I’m sitting under the air con with my foot elevated, ticking off another day, almost half way and then the count down is on 👍👍

Hope you’re having a lovely weekend ❤️❤️

Hi @Owlunar@Razzle@Shaz51@Zoe7

I have to tell you guys something thst I still haven’t told anyone.

Yesterday while driving around delivering medication packs to customers I ended up in the wrong side of the road. I didn’t realise until a truck facing me in the other side stopped and had his hands in the air. This happened when I was very angry snd spoke to the nurse to calm down.

I feel stuck terrible in what happened.

My dictir did csll me back last snd exnyrf to see if I was ok.

Was that a lapse in concentration or your subconscious doing it deliberately @BlueBay?

No it was because I was so angry and stressed. It wasn’t deliberate. It was a lapse of concentration. But very scary. I was so shaken by it. Thank god I didn’t have a head on crash.

Thank goodness you didn't have an accident @BlueBay - we need our BB here

@BlueBay How scary for you, glad to hear you are ok though ❤️❤️

@Zoe7 Are yiu around to chst ?

I’m really bored. Down tiday. Supposed to go to wirk Xmas dinner tonight but really can’t be bothered. I’ve got no enthusiasm to do anything.

I feel a bit useless and hopeless today.

I am around @BlueBay Just pottering around doing a little cleaning up.

I’m laying here on the couch @Zoe7 exhausted. The heat makes me tired.

Cant be bothered. I did clean the bathrooms and toilets this mirning. And did a load of washing.

What’s the weather like there tiday?

hows your garden going