not feeling good

Hugs @BlueBay

Hugs my sister @BlueBay, I am in need of some hugs too xoxo

Hugs to you sis @Shaz51

how is your mum? Xxx

my mum is back in hospital my sister @BlueBay andshe is feeling very low this afternoon

all she wanted to do was to hold my hand

Our annniversary tomorrow and mr shaz wants to take me shopping and out for lunch xx

I have been reading if not writing @BlueBay - just taking the time to refuel my emotional tanks - I have quite a bit going on in my own life right now

It seems you are having a rough time - being on watch means they are taking care of you - you are not alone there - it's a safe place to be and you have needed a rest for a long time - a very long time

And it takes time to fit in -

Maybe you are able to get out on weekend leave - or maybe you are taking time to be on your own - I remember getting edgy in hospital even after all this time - but you are there to be looked after an cared for - and I know not all nurses are all that great - you have to wait until some of them go off duty -

Anyway - your mother - you said she is getting a little more easy to get on with but you are still not really trusting her - I gather she is not all that easy to be around. Well - that is a step forward and I remember not wanting to disturb the status quo about that - and I hear you - maybe your mother will ask about your brother in time - maybe she won't - but I am sure you really wish she would hug you - be kind to you - listen to you - but alas - she's seems to be a tough person about that and likes to be in control

Takes each day as it comes and make the most out of the time you have - I know it's not easy

Dec

I feel really lonely. In my room don’t want to talk to anyone. It hurts being alone.

Csnt stop crying.

I hste this life

I’m sick of trying to get better

it’s a struggle

I csnt fi this snymire

I’m sick of being depressed feeling shit all the time.

I just want to hide away forever

Hearing you @BlueBay .... ❤️

@BlueBayhugs my sister

Hi @Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Owlunar@Zoe7@Razzle

Today is day 7 snd my mood is still very low. Having breakfast lunch and dinner on my own. Been staying in my room alone a lot. This time I feel the people in here are not as friendly as other times. Maybe it’s just me.

Crying dsily isn’t helping my mood.

Waking up 2-3 times a night. Making me tired during the day.

Went home for the weekend. Saw kids snd Ayla. Saw MIL in nursing home yesterday. Doesn’t know me at all. Starting to nit recognise her son. That didn’t help my mood.

Hubby took me yo have lunch with youngest son which was nice.

Todsy there’s a walk to a creek. Might go. More groups today. I just want to be left alone.

Another day of been so depressed. Almost 9 yrs of therspy hasn’t helped. I’m tired of all this.

I’m sorry I haven’t read any posts. Tske care my dear friends. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi @BlueBay

It's tough feeling so bad - maybe the trip to see your MIL wasn't a good idea - it's really hard making such visits -

But as for the way you are feeling generally - I am really glad you are in hospital right now and that you can have your meals alone in your room - that is a priviledge. I know it's tough being alone - maybe the other people are unfriendly or maybe they are battling too -

You are in a safe place and being cared for - this is a good thing - and I am glad you had dinner with your son - that was a good thing too

Thinking of you

Dec