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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 12:43 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay here with you - just keep talking to me my friend xxx

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 12:48 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

thank you @Zoe7 for being here. I really should be here for you.

I know you are struggling and I am sorry i haven't helped you much. i feel terrible coming on here with my sh't.

what are you doing today @Zoe7

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 12:53 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay Don't worry about me - there really isn't anything anyone can do at the moment. People just being around is keeping me going the best than I can. My GP is doing everything she can. She is dealing with work, my income protection, trying to find a psychiatrist that can see me before May, talking with my psychologist - basically everything but getting me up each day. She also checks in with me regularly on the days I don't see her. I know how worried she is and that stresses me a bit too but I also know I trust her and she is only trying to keep me safe.

As for you 'sh*t' don't feel terrible - it actually helps me to be able to help others when I can - it takes my mind off myself for a while.

In response to: not feeling good

DecadianSenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 12:54 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay and @Zoe7

I am glad to see both of you together - you are both battling stuff I have battled with - life can be hard and cruel

Yes - Blue - I do understand - I burst into tears talking to my doctor yesterday - I don't feel so bad today - I guess I got a lot of it out of my system but I still understand how you must be feeling and I don't understand my mother or your mother - or whatever moves them to be so darned cutting - no one has to be like that

But there you are

You will be tired today and I am here for now - no energy myself - flat as a tack - mother-sh^t can really knock you around

Hugs for both of you

Dec

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:28 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay How are you going? You ok? Here if you need

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:31 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Zoe7

Just had a good cry again. Supposed to catch up with a friend for coffee in 1/2 hour, don't know if i wnat to now.

haven't swept or mopped the floors yet. can't be bothered. this mornign really traumatised me.

are you okay? xxoo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:38 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay Crying is ok. I've been crying for days. If you can make it for coffee with your friend then go - it will get you out of the house and thinking about something else. If you can't I'll still be here - too tired to do much at all today.

I know how tiring it can be after such a traumatic morning - don't worry too much about doing housework etc. - it can wait - you've done enough lately so give yourself a break today.

Don't worry about me just focus on yourself today and getting back to that happy place you were at before this morming. Look at it as if your train didn't derail - it just got knocked on to the wrong tracks and needs to take the longer route to it's destination - but you are still on the train xxx

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:41 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Zoe7 thank you so much for your support. I so love this forum - everyone caring for everyone

I think i will go down the beach for a walk and catch up with my friend. She came to the auction to support me so i should catch up with her to say thanks.

I will be back after though to see how you and others are. Hope you can do something nice for yoiurself @Zoe7 this afternoon. xxoo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:48 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay Good on you my friend - enjoy the beach and the company of your friend

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 3:13 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. Crying is great. Went to an emergency dentist today & I said to him and the nurse - totally honest - my depression is close - so my tolerance for pain is zero. Told them most likely that I would cry - but not to worry about that - as that's due to my anxiety. They got worried when I told them this. But I just explained. The tears will come due to theaanxiety. I am able to control the anxiety -so iI'll be okay - but that worry and pent up energy and feeling has to come out - for me to prevent a full blown anxiety attack. So a few tears are actually healthy for me.
By the time they pulled my tooth and I was ready to leave - they understood what I meant. 15 minutes sitting in the car to breathe and calm down fully and I was right to drive home.
I tell you this - because later this year - you will be at this point where you know how your body & brain works & how to reduce the severity of any 'attack'.
Unfortunately, as lovely as this mental health nurse is - she isn't trained for your type of 'issues'. And unfortunately, today was the result of that.
Your psych - Wow! Yes he is always going to be around and available for you. He gets it. That's brilliant. Next time he or your psychologist are away - hopefully they will chat and organise an extra support person for you.
Yes - you have two options. And you my beautiful friend - will go with option two. Why do I know this? Because as @Zoe7 says - we can see your strength and your goodness and your worth. Not all daughters include their mums in their pregnancies. Yours really wants you to be a part of the whole experience. So when you doubt yourself, & you don't believe us, that you have worth - listen to your daughter. She wants you to be a part of the pregnancy and everything - because, she knows you are a brilliant mum and that you have strength. She wants to learn from the best.
Anyone can be a mum. But to raise 3 really haooy and healthy adults - while battling through mental health issues - you are one amazingly strong woman.
Please remember that.
Love and hugs to you. Lots of rest and doing nothing tiday. Just relax and take things easy.

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