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not feeling good

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Oh @utopia

I always (well not always) cry when I read your replies. Always from your heart. I can always read how sincere you are. you have a caring beautiful soul

You're right I will take option 2. My psych was really good today considering other times he was terrible.

The mental health nurse explained to me this morning that my brain has two parts - (1) the trauma part (2) the rational or adult part. And a lot of my decisions or thoughts are coming from the trauma side of my brain. And she explained that we need to interlock them together. How, I have no idea.

I'm glad you got through the dentist. Just going would increase my anxiety!! I am so glad you were able to settle yourself before driving.

@Zoe7 @Decadian I did go and catch up with my friend. We had 2 coffees each and shared a bowl of chips (i shouldn't have!!).

Then hubby came home and we took Jersey for a walk. I feel okay now.

Thanks guys for your support today, @Zoe7 how are you going? xxxooo

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. My roll on this forum is to make people cry. Lol. But yes, I am honest, so I do post what I feel. And what I wrote for you - I see to be 100% the truth.
I like how the mental health nurse explained it today. I think she is right. But your trauma was big - so it needs to be handled by an expert. And you've got that with your two psychs.
I'm off for a nap now. Will talk later

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Is there snyone around at the moment? I am struggling emotionally and mentally. Have a throbbing headache from work today. First day back since coming out of hospital. I can't deal with anything anymore, my head hurts, i am so low tonight. it's all that dissociation that happened yesterday, i am

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. I'm here. Sorry you have a headache. Do you have any pain relief meds to help?
What happened at work today?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@utopia

I need you to be here with me. I am emotional, triggering stuff from yesterday. i am so damn angry with my life; work was okay although i just wanted to go home as i didn't feel good with my headache.

so much negative stuff in my head, there is no point is there? in aything?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@utopia just saw @BlueBay 's posts - ignore mine and look after her - please - she needs you xxx

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. There is always a reason to neing here. To living. Some days are tough though. And it sounds like your negative self talk is really loud today.
What happened yesterday to trigger you? Do you want to talk about it?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

It was all that crap session i had with the mental health nurse.

I have so much pent up emotion waiting to explode thqt right now i need to grab something to prove to myself that it is real. the pain is real, the emotions are real. i am not making it up.

you know what my psych told me yesterday - that i am 'keeping my stories alive' by retraumatising myself; that i had forgotten about my abuse for a while and now it's my parents that are triggering me and next it will be something else.

WTF - what does he know. i have suffered so much, i want to hit myself, hurt myself just to show him. how dare he say - what is next? WTF well he can go and get stuffed. i have been hurt and still am and i don't care anymore, i just won't go to work tomorrow or go anywhere. actually might even go

@utopiait is real what happened to me; it really did happen, i really was abused by 3 different guys and i was abandoned and rejected and hated by my parents.

it is so true, i wouldn't lie about that; i haven't made anything up.

why am i so horrible tonight, i want to curl up and die. i really couldn't care less.

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. I believe you my friend. I know these horrible things happened to you. I believe you.
Yiu don't need to prove anything to anyone. We here on the forum - we know you are telling the truth.
You don't need to inflict physical pain - to know your pain is real and that this happened. We need to keep you safe today and away from any SH tools that you have.
I hear you @BlueBay. I believe you. And I'm here for you.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay Please stay safe xxx Thinking of you, hearing you, BELIEVING you xxx

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