not feeling good

I’m sick and tired of dealing with everything. It’s all too much. Tiday I had to deal with community support centre to ask for financial counseling. They made an appt for me yo see someone in October. Then they referred me to good shepherd so I called them and they will call me back.

im so overwhelmed with all this stuff. My husband won’t do any if it. It shi**s me.

I’ve got another headache

I just want out of everything

I’m dissociating bad tiday nit dealing with things

need to write letter to my brother and tell him how much I hate him. How much he robbed me of my childhood. How much of my memory of my childhood hr has taken away. How much hate I have for him.

I’m shaking.

I’m crying

Been out all day - went to a meeting some distance away - over 3 hours of driving today so pretty tired now @BlueBay Will be an early night for me here I think.

Did you get the bp monitor today?

ohh hugs @Zoe7, @BlueBay

yes mum is still in hospital @BlueBay, and her muscles are wasting away as well as having a bowel obstruction xx

That is not good news @Shaz51 Hope your Mum gets through this ok

me too @Zoe7 xx

Yes @Zoe7@Shaz51 i got the monitor this morning. It’s a pain as it inflates every 1/2 hour during day snd every hour at night. But I see my dr tomorrow morning. I’ve had a headache all day so we’ll see if it’s ny bp thsts high.

Thats not good about your Mum @Shaz51. I hope she recovers. @Zoe7 You’ve had a busy day today. You must be tired. ❤️❤️

Having the BP machine inflate every half an hour would be annoying @BlueBay but I hope it gives your GP a better idea of what is hapening for you.

Yes BB I am really tired now and it has just got really windy so I think early meds and an early night are definitely on the cards for me.

Did your friend come around for a coffe today?

Yes my D snd ayla called in and we took her to the park. My friend called in after lunch for a coffee and gave Ayla a present for her birthday.

I better go and cook dinner. Having stir fry with rice. Hope you have a good night sleep tonight @Zoe7 ❤️❤️

Thanks @BlueBay You too Hon

@Zoe7@Shaz51@saturnzoon@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

I rang the support centre yesterday to make an appt with a financial counsellor. She made an appt fir October but also referred me in the mean time to another company who may hrlp. I called them and the lady I spoke to said she csn htlp but the first thing to do is a budget. She told me to go online snd get one from a govt website. I did the budget snd put all expenses and earnings. We have no money left. It calculated that we are in debt $6,000 a year. It said we don’t earn enough fir our expenses. Mind you our spending is just bills, grocery medication petrol psych psychologist. Nothing like outings or movies or holidays. There is nothing like fun stuff in there. It’s all basic bills.

Its really hard to look st. I csnt stop worrying snout. I don’t kniw what to do Part of me wants to go away because I csnt deal with this. It’s too overwhelming. There’s no point in seeing a counsellor because they won’t tell me anything different. My life is just a complete mess.

Im laying here in bed sobbing as I write this because I truly don’t kniw how to fix it. I csnt cut bsvk in anything I looked at that and tried

I wish there was an easy answer.

Apart from what my negative thoughts are at the moment.

I don’t know who to go fir help.

I’m really stuck.

Its my fault where in this situation. If I could only work more hours. But I can’t. Damn depression has robbed me of my life. I hate my brother so much. He has ruined my life completely. While he travels the world I’m struggling to live a simple life. It’s so not fair.