not feeling good

@BlueBay.

If you wake in the early hours of the morning. Don't worry. I'll still be right here. Holding your hand.

I'm just going to close my eyes now and go to sleep. Still holding your hand.

Just close your eyes again. and sleep.

Sweet dreams.

Hi @utopia@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Decadian

Thank you all for last night, it was comforting to read your beautiful posts last night and to know i do have some beautiful caring friends. It made me cry when i was reading all the posts.

I woke up this morning and found myself in a cocoon position rocking myself. My fists were so tight that once I let go I could feel the tension go away. The only problem with me rocking to soothe myself is that it triggers me to when i was a teenager alone in my room and rocking myself.

I am up and have to get ready for work. I am starting to feel anxious and really stressed because tomorrow week is our auction and there are so manhy 'what if' scenarios. And then the overwhelming feeling comes. I know people have auctions and people sell their homes and I know I am stressing but I am having trouble settling my emotions down to a 'stable level'. And to top it off 3 days before the auction my 2 boys are going to Bali for a week with 3 of their mates. Do you know how stressed i am with that?? I have told my boys that i am stressing and worrying and could they pls just let me know how they are when they are there, so just i can hear from them. My oldest 'cracked it' because he says i worry too much but my youngest understood as he travelled overseas on his own last year and he sent me messages and photos daily. i would wake up in the morning and see his msg and photos and i would be fine for the day. i just wish my other son would understand. So while they are away i will be anxious. And just throw in an auction, oh and also throw in that we don't have any cards to use to buy stuff at the moment because we were hacked all our money in our accounts.

@utopia thank you for being with me last night, i was crying when i read your post. I have never ever felt so loved before like you have. i feel like you are my 'other mum' (now not sure if you are older than me!!)

I feel like you 'know' what i am going through and you held me close for comfort, support and just somem peace. (now i am crying, damn tears 😞

oh there goes my asthma again, i have a feeling it is stressed related. i am having trouble again.

I cannot thank you @utopia@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Decadian all enough for just being my friend. i don't have many friends that i can truly and honestly open up and speak my words. I believe i have made a connection here and i will always be here for you too. xxxxoooo

I am sorry I haven't read all the posts just yet, i need to sit quietly and absorb what i am reading. This next coming week will be really hard, lots of mixed emotions going through my mind. So much pain, hurt, tears i don't know if i will be able to cope.

i just need someone, anyone to wrap their arms around me and tell me it will be okay. tell me that i will be okay and that i deserve and need to live.

better go and fix my face, wipe the tears and try to 'be happy' for work 😞

hello @BlueBay @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Decadian

I went through a period where everyone I was thinking about, just about everyone I knew was dying in my daydreams, nightdreams. It was very frightening. I kept talking about it with my psychiatrist and it has passed for the moment.

The important thing is that you are acknowledging the thoughts, you are venting them on here which is good. tell them to your psychiatrist or gp or whoever you see first. Let them know how often you have had these thoughts, as best as you can remember. Most importantly do not bury the thoughts.

Very hard thing to do, you are far braver than you think you are.

I also know that when you are at a very low point it is too hard to think positively about yourself.

You have come a long way BlueBay, you have achieved much and before you know it you will be looking back, talking about yesterday, last week, a few weeks ago, a month ago.

So just be in the moment now, love your children and husband. Love you, yourself for everything that you are.

We all know how lovely you are. The hard part is believing that when you feel low. I am trying so perhaps you can try with me.

xxxxxxxxx

Good morning @BlueBay

What a terrible time you have had - and now it is morning

You are right - people auction or privately sell their property all the time - but right now this is your time - your turn - and you have the added stress that this house is something you don't just have to sell - you have to get out of that house - oh yes - have your thought about what your mother would think!? Or Say!?

But you don't have to worry about her any more - just be delighted with the truth - the fact - you are selling that house - wow!!!!!!

Yes - your sons are growing up into young men and your younger son has made that step overseas already but your older son is needing to break away too - and it's often harder for the first children - and as they say - whatever it means - boys will be boys - and mothers will be mothers

And!!!!! Ah - I forgot - it's Friday! You have the weekend. I forget - is the auction this weekend

And @Former-Member

You must have had a terrible time when you were worried that everyone you knew in your daydreams and nightmares was dying - the truth is - we are all on our way out - but not today - not yet - and we don't know when. That would be a scary time to pass through -

Tough though - when people do die everyone else becomes incredibly precious

Lots of hugs for both of you

Dec

Morning-ish here @BlueBay .... I'm just checking in on you .... 🌷💜

Have been awake on and off all night with WH's bug .... so was checking in on you overnight as well ....

Hugs .... 🤗💕

Hi everyone .... 👋🏽🤒😷😴