not feeling good

The medicare sit is difficult to navigate if you only look at the first few items that come up - it takes some digging to find what you are eligible for @BlueBay that is why we suggest you discuss it with your GP and get them to do the digging for you Hon Don't give up - you can get through this

I get you @Zoe7

it's just my damn head is saying "but what if there's nothing" "what if this and what if thst"

And that's when I start to go into panic mode strsight away and then go into "well stuff it I will self sabotage mode"

i need to wait for tomorrow to see my GP xx

Hi @Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@outlander@utopia@Former-Member

saw my gp this morning. Had a big cry. Told him about the Medicare and he gave me a management plan. Which gives me 5 more visits. So if I see her every 2 weeks that's 10 weeks I'll be covered. Better than nothing.

I told him I'm not getting better told him I'm worse. Been crying having Sh thoughts suicude thoughts. Want to run away and disappear. Told him I cry every single night. He asked how the relationship is with hubby. I told him ok. He asked why can't I just tell hubby he doesn't understand. I told him I find it difficult to talk to him. He suggested I try to talk to him today. I started to cry and said I don't know if I can. He said Judy try. I told him I will see. I don't know why I sn so scared.

Im in my car crying. He wants me to stay busy today as it's my day off but I'm home alone. He worries I'll do something stupid to myself. I told him I'm scared too. He wants me to ring him at 1pm to let him know I'm ok.

I'm so over everything at the moment. I just want to run fast somewhere anywhere. Just go away. I want to disappear. I want to end it all. It's scary.

So pleased you talked to you GP and got those extra sessions @BlueBay and very proud of you for talking to him also

The way you are feeling is how you usually feel when you have too much time on your hands and thus too much time to think - distractions, distractions, distractions today BB - you need to be doing things to stop your mind going in overdrive - what can you organise to get you out of the house and out of your own head a little?

Sounds like you are having a tough time @BlueBay - your GP has offered some good advice and talking to him this afternoon is a good idea. You have got some very supportive peers here, with great advice, keep reaching out.

As a reminder, if you're concerned about your safety or you'd like counselling support, you can reach out to the following services:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467

Samaritans: 135 247

Take good care of yourself today and please do reach out for support

I don't know what to do @Zoe7@outlander

today I'm going to make a veg soup and maybe crochet but that's it. My doctor wanted me to go fir a walk but the weather is shocking rain niw and windy. So that's out of the question. I don't know and don't care. I'm so over it all. I just want to curl up in my blanket and d**

i hate living like this. I am scared of being alone but hate being challenged also. I don't know what else to do. I'm going home now to have a coffee.

Right now you are emotional after seeing your GP and those emotions are fuelling your negative thinking @BlueBay - go home, have a coffe and keep talking here with us while you settle your thinking a little. Many of us have been here with you as you have worked through these negative thinking times and we do know you can settle your mind with distractions and talking it out - you got this Hon - you know I believe in you BB

@Zoe7

Just remembered I need to go and buy some veggies fir the soup I'll be back on here later

i will chat to you when I get back.

I feel so overwhelmed and emotional and csnt deal with anything at the moment. Thankyou @Zoe7@outlander for being here xxx