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not feeling good

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I don't want to be here anymore. I hate doctors

hate them all.

Just let me go and die

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Hello @BlueBay

Sorry to hear that you are having a really tough afternoon especially with the doctors, are you able to tell us a little bit more about what is happening for you so we can support you better?

Lunar

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member

I rang on friday to speak to my doctor as he said i can call him. he never called back. i then woke up on saturday with terrible back pain and spasms. i called the clinic to see if i can speak to the doctor (mine was not there) and ask if i could come in and get some meds to help with the spasms. he didn't call back, so i called twice. he never returned my calls. so all weekend i suffered in pain with spasms.

this morning i was still angry so i called the receptionist and told her to pass message onto my own doctor and let him know i was annoyed and angry that no one called back especially on saturday as i was in pain. i am not even sure if both doctors did receive my messages.

my own doctor called back this afternoon and i told him i was annoyed. he didn't even apologise, he said to not focus on being angry to focus on doing something this afternoon and keep busy because i will fall in a heap with negative thoughts. well with BPD that's what happens i can't let go of my anger, it takes a long time to calm down.

does he know how it feels to be in pain and have no one call yoiu?

i told him that because i have a mental illness that my physical pain is being ignored now by the doctors. that i feel rejected and abandoned and it hurts big time.

i don't care anymore, i am over it all. over taking my meds, over seeing everyoone to get help, because they don't help, there is no help

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I replied to you @Former-Member but no one replied. Well it doesn't matter anymore.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I know @BlueBay sorry it has been a very busy afternoon. Keep reaching out on the forums okay, it has been a big weekend. I hope you can rest for the evening

Lunar

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

ohhh my sister @BlueBay , sittng with youi xoxoxo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Keep to your meds @BlueBay or you will begin to feel much worse ..... that’s what has happened before and you were sorry afterwards that you stopped taking them just because you were very angry and responding to self-sabotaging thoughts. You need your meds to help you calm down, and you need to calm down to be able to spend time with Ayla .....

Remember your dream @BlueBay ...... remember that Ayla is your miracle baby that you dreamed about before she was even here ...... and that is so special 💕

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Former-Member

I'm ok now after chstting to a counsellor.

I'm ok @Shaz51 thanks for the love ❤️

@Faith-and-Hope Ok I won't stop my meds. My rational mind has kicked in. How can I forget my miracle bsby Ayla. She is my beautiful angel of love.

I'm seeing her tomorrow morning before work. Having a coffee with my daughter.

I get so angry that a lot of the times I self sabotage stop meds Sh take revenge snd lash out. But reality is im actually hurting myself. And I'm ashamed at myself.

I'm off to bed making a cup of tea first.

Just a s good chat online with a Sane counsellor. Really helped.

Xxoo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Ohh seeing Ayla and your daughter tomorrow , how lovely xoxo

cup of tea sounds nice @BlueBay xxx

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Let's have tea ❤

@BlueBay

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