not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope

You know you amaze me some so much. Even though you are going through so much tough stuff with your controlling hubby and moving you always seem so positive or okay with it all. If that was me I would be freaking out!!

You are such a strong women always putting your children first. I can tell how much love you have for your children.

Yes it will be hard but things happen fir whatever reason and as hard as it is we move on.

Heres me telling you snd I don't listen to my advice!!! Lol

anyway i just wanted to say I feel for you. ❤️❤️

BB XXOO

Hi @BlueBay.

I have gotten upset at many things across the last few years, but when I have it has started to give me panic attacks and other physical distress symptoms, like my arms going numb earlier this year when we actually moved east ..... I hadn’t wanted to leave my house, my friends and family, and my life in the west.

At that point I realised I would have to learn to suck it up, if I was going to stay, and make the most of my new circumstances, because leaving would create a bigger firestorm than staying and trying to calm the waters.

The mental health of the rest of us is being affected, but sometimes you protect yourself from further harm best by staying in the situation, bringing in more support (if anyone will listen when we have no diagnosis yet), finding other ways to be absent (work, study) for much of the time, creating boundaries if you think they can be upheld, and waiting out the storm.

That’s the one we have gone for .... and I say we because the kids don’t want our home to break up, and the home is us, not the building.

I watched a friend moving house a lot a few years back. The rental homes she moved into kept being sold after six months or a year. Her home got packed away into boxes, and at the next house, she unpacked it all again, and there was her home back again, just in a new location .....

The difference with where mr, is moving our home to is that it’s a unit instead of a house, whereas my friend was moving house to house.

I didn’t want to move to a unit, but mr. can’t prioritise maintenance and won’t want a garden being looked after while we are not really living there ..... but he has been planning this for the last few years against my wishes, and now he is just making it happen, pretending that it is so we can tidy and fix our house, but he will refuse to move back into it. I am already hearing from other people that he won’t, and intends to sell it.

Pushing against this decision will only hurt the kids more, without changing the outcome, and leaving will derail the kids as well cos mr. won’t just sit there and accept that. Saying that he would make things difficult is a complete understatement.

Like I said, I have seen this coming, and whatever happens with mr’s health, the unit will be easier to manage.

Hugs @Faith-and-Hope

Thanks @utopia.

All the roads forward are sucky at the moment, so it’s a matter of choosing the best one and going with it.

Feeling sorry for myself. My back still not that great. I feel like I need to let go of a lot of different emotions but csnt.

Stuck is how I feel.

It’s not a good feeling @BlueBay, but some of thos emotions will be working their own way to the surface ..... they have to process themselves out in bits and pieces, so it will probably go stuck-unstuck-stuck-unstuck for a while. Keep up the self-care as best you can. It’s important to look after yourself during highly emotional times.

Gentle hugs ..... sitting with you ....

💙🐚💕

But do you know what @Faith-and-Hope feels like I need to run a marathon and fast. I need to get out quickly and run. It's an instant thought of hey our quick snd go. I don't know if this is my inner child or something happened years ago. It's like I'm on speed wanting to go very quickly.

That is a question for your counsellor @BlueBay ....

What can you do for yours of today ? Go for a gentle walk with your fur baby ? How is your knitting coming along ? I am finger-knitting some more scarves for friends and family.

Oh you just reminded me @Faith-and-Hope i have some new wool to start another bsby blanket. This time in lemon and grey fir a friend due in September. Then I have another friend due in November so I promised her I'll crochet her a blanket as well. I should start charging!!

Im going to get my daughter to start me up on Insta gram so then I'll put all my knitted and crocheted stuff on there and sell.

I might go snd start this one.

At least this will calm me down 😊

Thsnks @Faith-and-Hope xxoo

Hugs @BlueBay .... ❤️