not feeling good

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@Whiteknight@Former-Member@outlander@Shaz51

I'm home now all alone and am bored and starting to think negative. It doesn't take long for my mind to go that way.

i have so much to do at home, vac the floors, cook dinner and knit - but i can't even do that. it's all too much. all i want to do is curl up and do nothing, hide under my blanket.

i am worrying about my son who is overseas stuck in Barcelona airport with no planes going at the moment, their on strike. It's 2am there and he is stuck at the airport. He has lost his money for the flight and now also for the accommodation in Italy. I am worrying that something will happen to him and i am not coping.

i had a dream last night that i went to my session with my psychologist and lost it completely, screaming at her that i can't do this anymore, and tried to run out of the room, i ended up opening the doors and ran out of the clinic onto the road. i couldn't stop running. until finally i was found by the police and rescued. the more i think about this dream the more i really want to do this. it is stupid i know but the reality is maybe this is what i want - to be rescued.

i don't know - i am feeling confused, i am not good to be left alone at home.

wish someone could get me out of this headspace i am in

i dont want to be here in this space

i can't think right now

Hi @BlueBay

Have you got your support network active? if not remember lifeline.

Your level of worry has justification. It's only when it isnt justified that we should control it if we can. I'd be worried about my son also. I'd just insist he phone or text when things improve. But if it was me instead of you I'd think of a few things to calm me down-

• that if I was an observer at the airport I'd likely see him just sitting on a lounge without any real safety concerns
• That worrying isnt productive, remember it just gives you ulcers
• That things out of your control are not realistically "fixable"
• Talk to friends and family as to their ideas

Life can throw things at us. In this case the staff are on strike. A worse case senario is he flies over Iceland or Bali and his plane becomes effected by volcano dust and his safety is at risk. Or he was beaten by thieves. There are many extremes that we can imagine that are worse case senarios.

Now, its cold but if you can go to a shopping centre and enjoy a coffee and watch passing families do their thing you just might see a little boy crying or a little girl cuddling her mum. Anything can happen at anytime that will distract your thoughts.

WK

Good idea @Whiteknight .....

Can you take yourself out for a coffee somewhere @BlueBay ?

I am on my way out. Will catch up with you at the other end of the day .....

💙💕

@Whiteknight

My son has just messaged me - he arrived Italy safely. Thank god he messaged me. My daughter and grand daughter have just come over for a coffee snd our grand daughter is stsying the night.

@Whiteknight Thsnks for those suggestions. I never think of suggestions when I'm in a downer or worrying.

Also I did chat on line with Sane counsellor. I'm better now not so emotionsl. The roller coaster has come back down.

How to stop worrying? How to control the roller coaster of emotions? Now the roller coaster is slowly going back up agsin. What is going on. I don't understand how it can fluctuate so quickly.

Hello my sister @BlueBay I am home now -- yaaaa xxx

@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Whiteknight@Former-Member@outlander@utopia

i can hardly move. I done something to my back. It's spasms and when I breathe it hurts. I can't move much. Snd my stupid husband has no sympathy at all. Just take s Painkillers was his answer. I'm in pain and that's all he said

I'm angry 😡

I'm sitting here in pain @Faith-and-Hope@outlander

done this fir a very long time. I've taken meds. I think I need something stronger for the spasms. Pain is going across to the sides of my stomach. 😥