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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor28 June 2018, 2:11 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I just feel alone, isolated, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, emotional, sick, hated, and rejected and abandoned

i hate this feelings and myself

nothing will ever get better so what is the piont

In response to: not feeling good

WhiteknightSenior Contributor28 June 2018, 2:26 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Probably too late a reply but try to express what your lind is saying. That way they'll be no regrets. Good luck.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor28 June 2018, 2:35 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Whiteknight i don't understand your message

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember28 June 2018, 2:42 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Really painful feelings BlueBay, know them well, much the same internal dialogue here atm, but i know its temporary. Myserable day, i'm staying in bed

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor28 June 2018, 2:47 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hugs @Former-Member xxoo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor28 June 2018, 3:40 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Whiteknight

I get your msg niw 😊

My mind is like a tangled web eith lines going everywhere Criss crossing in my head. Snd I'm frustrated and angry because I can't fix my problems niw right now. I've been seeing a psych for 8 yrs snd just now I've found the "right one". But I feel cheated and angry that I still have to go through the same shit with this therapist. 8 yrs is a long time. It's exhausting. I'm emotional because I feel sorry for myself and really sorry fir my inner child. I feel violated rejected abandoned and danm sngry. Anger is causing me to punish myself in a way like not eating much or niot taking my meds. It's a self sabotage I use to "punish myself " why? I don't really know why. Maybe it's to feel the pain is real. Because I've suppressed this fir 40 yrs and pretended all my life.

I feel alone and lost because I feel ill never get well or at least a little better. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Because there is still so much darkness.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

WhiteknightSenior Contributor28 June 2018, 5:39 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I think you are explaining yourself really well. There isnt much support possible over the Internet one can give. I could for example suggest you dont dwell on the past but I do, and I cant stop it, I just divert my thoughts if I can

Depending on the intensity and my environment at the time.

Ive known you for many years from the other forum and I can see progress in you. It might be small but gradually things can improve and you, the sufferer wont see it.

A new psych /therapist is a positive step if you've had previous issue with others. You have enough issues to sort out than adding to them with anger from the past @BlueBay.

You'll be ok.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor28 June 2018, 6:26 pm AEST