not feeling good

sitting with you too @BlueBay

I'm not in a good headspace. I called my doctor this morning but he wasn't there but the other doctor was. He called me back and lunchtime and I told him I was not coping and was going to take some meds. He asked if I was really going to snd I told him I'm not sure as long as I'm eith my family I won't. He said he is working on Monday (public hol) so if I need to speak to him to call. I'm just so tired st the moment. Ayla is here now fir the night.

@BlueBay

Fear can hold us back from doing what we need to do.

Why not fully give yourself over to your new psychologist? Sounds like she can handle it. Not only that, sounds like she can help you.

Enjoy your day now with our little forum baby Ayla. Concentrate on her. And enjoy those precious cuddles.

Ayla is asleep for the night

my thoughts are dark tonight

I just can't stop the mixed up memories in my head

I need to stop this too

should I take the meds

I don't know

what will they do

i should just go to bed

i need to stop and find some calm

but my head is not doing this right now

anxiety is high

i should just go away for a while

maybe need a break

that's not going to change anything is it?

im sngry I need to stop

Hearing you @BlueBay .....

💙

Thanks for posting, I relate to your headspace, not tonight, but other nights. Take care of yourself

Thanks @Flyingbutter@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Zoe7@Shaz51

Ayla went home this morning. She slept all night waking up at 5.30am from 6pm. I put her in our bed with her dummy and she fell asleep until 7am. The whole time she was feeling my face touching my nose my eyes.

When we all woke up we had s little play with her in bed and she was ready to play. Smiling and dancing she loves to move and dance. I gave her a bottle and had a shower. She was back down asleep agsin by 8.30. Gave me time to have breakfast and put washing on. She slept for about 40 mins. Dressed her and fed her breakfast and agsin smiling and dancing. Gave her lots of cuddles before it was time fir her to go. Went to Bunnings eith hubby to buy some herbs fir our pots. All done now and I think I need a sleep. Then I need to do some knitting.

Not sure if I told you all that my youngest son is going away this week to Europe for 2 months. Italy France Spain London Greece and Belgium He is going eith 2 mates. Then in July my other son and his friend are going to Italy for 4 weeks and will catch up and travel with his brother. They will have an amazing time. Wish i could go to Italy snd Greece. It's my dream. But it's so expensive can't afford it.

I just hope they stay safe while overseas. I will worry till they come back.

wow how lovely spending time with beautiful Ayla @BlueBay

and how exciting for your 2 sons with their travels xxx

It was a really nice time @Shaz51 with Ayla. But I was buggered. Had an afternoon nap. Just cooking bolognaise for pasta tonight.

Hiw are you feeling? What did you do today?

so proud of what you done today my sister @BlueBay

this weekend we have been food shopping for us and my mum , been to a birthday lunch for an uncle who turned 80 , afternoon tea with mum , good news my S3 has a job , he was soo low but now has a job and he talked to his dad Mr shaz all about it