not feeling good

Taking your meds is self-care @BlueBay and so is taking it easy this afternoon - you are doing what you need to do to help you through this - wtg BB

that`s good my sister @BlueBay, try to rest now , think of something relaxing

@BlueBay. The day after an emotional session is tough. Physically and emotionally. Your psychologist says she will help youtthrough your trauma and get you to a better place. Naturally your brain today falls back into its negative talk - it's what it's used to.Some days will be hard. OOther days will be easier.

Days like this you need to be extra gentle with yourself. Try and focus on the truth. Your psychologist believes you can heal & she will help you through it.

I believe you CAN do this.

Thanks @utopia@Shaz51@Zoe7

i stayed in bed until dinner time. We had left over veg soup from last night and toast sandwiches. I didn't eat much. My migraine has eased a bit. Now a headache. I still feel not right. I am so sad so down and don't feel I deserve to be helped. I don't know why. I've been this way all my life. Last night I had bouts of intense emotions where I grabbed my pillow so tightly thst I had sore fingers. I always cry as soon as I go to bed. Whether it's because it's dark and that sets me off. Something must have happened to me as a child in the dark. Why else would I be so scared.

Now I feel alone. All I can see is my inner child so scared standing in the middle of our old house crying.

This is too much I need to go and rest agsin on the couch.

@BlueBay.

Your brain is your worst enemy at the moment. It keeps telling you "you can't". "You don't deserve". But that's not true at all. You do deserve & you can. It's learning to retrain the brain to think positive thoughts. It needs to be practiced.

You've done well today. Had a good sleep. Leftovers for dinner.

Continue with these gentle actions.

Hi @utopia@Shaz51@Zoe7

@Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

just got up with another headache. My eyes are puffy from crying. Today I'm not doing much. My daughter wants me to help her at her new place. I'll see how I feel later. And tonight we're having Ayla. She always makes me happy and smile. She is one little angel that I will always be close to. She know loves to sleep on me with her head on my chest. Oh it's so beautiful Just to hold her and feel her body. I usually wrap my arms around her and I can feel the love. I can't explain but it's amazing. As soon as she sees me her arms go out and she smiles. I just love her so much.

I better go and take some meds and make some breakfast.

BB xxx

Hi @utopia

I think I'm scared of giving my therapist all my trust in fear of her abandoning me. I'm not sure. I trust her a little but not fully yet. Msybe I need to let her know.

Although she has been the only one that has pushed me. She has nurtured me through my sessions. No one has ever done thst in previous sessions. I'm also scared a bit. I still don't know why. Tears come up when I say this. Scared abandonment trust fear - they all bring up tears.

And at least she lets me be my 9 yr old child when I'm in the room with her. Not completely but she only sees a little of me as I'm still scared to show her fully my inner child. Oh there is so much fear.

Snd a lot of sadness. Years

BB xxx

Home alone and it's frightening. I'm sitting here sobbing

maybe I don't deserve to get better

msybe I'm not meant to get well

i should always be like this

i hate my inner voice

I hate it

I don't want to be here anymore

I can't deal with this anymore

Im so hurt and sad

Sitting with you @BlueBay ....

These are very big feelings to process. Be gentle with yourself ....

I have been really busy family-wise the last couple of days, but I have been looking in on you and seeing other forum friends sitting with you .....

Hugs Hon ,... these feelings will process, and the trust will develop ..... it all takes time and baby steps.

💙💕💐

Thsnks @Faith-and-Hope

you take care too❤️

BBxx