not feeling good

Hi @Decadian @Change123 @Shimmer @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

Today I had a session with my new psychologist. We talked about my mum and dad and how much hurt and pain I am in still. She was so shocked that I have no childhood photos at all. She also couldn't believe or understand all the stories i was telling her about my mum's controlling and domineering behaviour

She told me that i have never been loved, nurtured or cared for by my parents and that i have every right of being angry with both of them, my mum and my dad. She is going to help me detach from them emotioinally so i can live a happy life. But i know it is going to hurt.

House ready and tidy for open house tomorrow and sunday. Catching up with our old neighbours that we haven't seen for 2 yrs. for dinner tomorrow night.

I am feeling tired and can't stop coughing. Must get this cough checked out again.

Hope everyone is okay 🙂

Me too @BlueBay .... that's all sounding much more positive ....

I know you had a long wait to see this female psychologist, and a lot more was happening along the way .... hopefully you will be feeling much more settled soon. As @utopia said, there is still so much to work through, and it won't be painless obviously, and you won't always like to hear what she has to say .... but if you gpfeel listened to and respected, it's so much easier to trust her to help you through the hard stuff.

💙🤗🐚

Hi @BlueBay

At last - a professional who can hear you

Now I can see - you old psychologist shut you down whenever you tried to speak about your mother - and your psyche doesn't seem to understand either - but now you have a professional person on your side who will work with you about this

And from experience it will be hard and it will take time and it will hurt

How I know that!!!! - But you will get through - with scrapes and bruises on your heart I know - but the time will come when you will have some peace even though there will be moments when it still hurts

Getting out of that house will make a difference - somewhere out of the the clouds I can hear your mother carping at you - "So you don't want to buy this house we are offering you at less than what we could get and you don't want it - you always were difficult........... ta da........ta da......etc"

I am glad you are seeing a female therapist - I am glad I am seeing mine - I will have to look in my diary and see when my next appt is and see if I can make another one sooner - I didn't expect the anniversaries of my parents deaths would make me feel so tired and my backache seem worse

However - after all this time I can allow myself to feel what I feel - we change in many ways as the years pass and we grow older and more experienced

You will be okay - it will take time - but your old pyschologist not wanting to hear about your mother - that was wrong - maybe he had mother problems

Ah - well - we can only go forward

Dec

Hi @Decadian

Looking back now at my old therapist I am annoyed and angry at him. Because of the way he would shut me down each time I would talk about my parents. He would say "I know you're parents are terrible, so let's just move on". And when I would cry or release some strong emotions he would get up and leave the room in the hope that I would learn to control my tears and then he would come back in. Actually looking back at that makes me feel like a little kid who got into trouble. That was pretty bad from a therapist.

I know i had to control my tears but sometimes you need to just let them all out. And he should have sat there and helped me. But no he would walk out.

So I will bring this up with my new psychologist at next session. She is nice, she is caring and I think she really understands what I am going through.

I know Dec I will have a lot to still work through and yes it will be painful, i will cry, i prob will call Lifeline or the CAT team but if i can get through of all this and detach myself emotionally I will be okay.

My psychologist is so happy we are selling, she said to me yesterday 'this is one huge step that you have control over and not your mum anymore". I never thought of it like that but it's true.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Change123 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Shaz51 @CherryBomb@NikNik

Well we had our first open for inspection today!!! We cleaned the hosue and made sure it looked spick and span, put some candles on and some soft music on the computer. The agent said that 5 groups came through and one group were very interested. He said that was a good result as it's only been just 24hrs since been on the internet!!!

Tomorrow we have another open day at 11am for 1/2 hour.

I am getting good positive vibes reg. the sale of our house. It just feels right and good. And I was walking through the house before and thought 'wow we do have a nice house'. It was hard work getting it ready but now it's done all we have to do now is maintain the tidyness (and make sure kids do too).

Going out for dinner tonight with old friends. Tomorrow after open day we'll go and visit MIL and then catching up with some other friends for coffee in the afternoon.

This year so far, is starting to feel right.

Hope everyone is doing okay today, thinking of you all and just wanted to keep you all up to date with the house.

Chat again later if not tomorrow.

Take care my beautiful forum friends xxxxooo

Your house sounds so lovely @BlueBay what a credit to you and all the best in it sale!! It certainly does sound like 2017 is getting off to a great start - well done!

Sylvester

SANE Moderator