not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I'm glad you are ckecking in, no need to apologise, we are wanting to support you.

Take Care

SP

@BlueBay

@Shaz51 at the moment i don't feel smarter or caring or stronger than J. At the moment i feel that J is taking over everyting in my life.

I need help, and i need to call my GP. i will call him tomorrow morning. I hate this life @Shaz51 it is so hard.

I cry every night i go to bed, i pray that i get better but it's a struggle every day. i wishh i wasn't here sometimes because its so damn hard.

but little Ayla is what keeps me going, my little grand daughter. she is my angel.

now i am crying, i better go, if i am not on here for a while it's because i may be doing something i shouldn't be J is having thoughts again, i am sorry J is pretty insistent with her thoughts

i am so confused. one minute i am just ok and the next i am feeling so destructive i feel i could hurt myself so badly

why am i like this?? thank you for being with me @Shaz51 xxoo

@BlueBay, I think your experience with the hospital last week is where this is coming from my friend , you had a very big week that week

and ringing you gp tomorrow will be good

little Ayla is sooo wonderful for you @BlueBay

@Shaz51 do you mean my dad being in hospital??

Yes @BlueBay, with your dad being in hospital , xoxo

Hi @BlueBay

I just sent you an email!

Sorry to hear you are struggling right now, it looks like there are a lot of other forum members who care for you.

but i don't understad @Shaz51 how can it be??

i have seen since he came home, i was angry at my mum while he was in hospital for 2 days. but i have noticed i have two personalities. one the calm one and the other is J - the destructive one, the one that wants revenge, paybck, self harm and even suicide. the one that wants to run away, is so angry. i don't understand.