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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 12:34 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Shimmer @Decadian
I'm anxious scared. At my psychs room now waiting for him.
I'm shaking. I don't know if I can give him the letter. 😥

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 12:40 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay You can give it to him and more importantly you NEED to give it to him. Your concerns and dissapointments with him are VALID. Remember my friend you are there for YOUR health and YOUR wellbeing - not his. Stay strong and do what I know you can do

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember10 Jan 2017, 12:41 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

good luck @BlueBay

here with you

In response to: Re: not feeling good

ShimmerSenior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 12:48 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Good luck @BlueBay. Remember being honest will help you both get on the same page so you can get the support you need.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Change123Senior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 12:57 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay

You have nothing to worry about infact he should be the one worrying.

You are paying for his services, this is no different than consumer stuff, if you bought something faulty you would complain etc if you receive treatment that is not correct or not helping you then he needs to know so they can help you.

Dont worry if you upset him, remind yourself you are paying his salary with his charges so you need to get your moneys worth - think of it like that and if he doesnt like it - find another if he is not helping you. I used to feel the same until I went through hell with the misdiagnoses, we often look at them like they have the answers for everything but they dont they are just as human as us and can also act human. Now with doctors I ask and if they dont give I demand answers and options for things - in this day and age you have to do this. If you dont you wont get anywhere - dont worry about him he is just another person that you need to be assertive with.

GOOD LUCK!!! YO CAN DO THIS

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 2:21 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay. I was at training for a temp job I start tomorrow. So I wasn't here this morning.
By now you would be finished at your psychs office. How did it go? He cannot keep putting you on a new medication for a week and then taking you off.
You need to stay on a new med for at least 4 weeks - to see if it will work for you. Side effects normally disappear or reduce in severity after a few weeks. I remember going on my anti depressant - it took 3 weeks for the nausea and dry mouth to leave me.
Hot rock massage sounds amazing. I wish your son bought one for all of us. I could do with one. I might book a massage with my friend for the following weekend - after a week and a half of being back working.
When you get home, just stay chilled from your massage. Try and keep that feeling and the relaxed state for as long as you can.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 5:50 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia @Change123@Shimmer@Former-Member@Zoe7@Decadian@Faith-and-Hope

I need help and advice!!!

I saw my stupid psych and I gave him my letter stating i was angry at him over a few things in reg. to too many changes of meds, hospital stay, new med side effects, hospital radiology charging me extra for tests and how i felt he wasn't happy that i had rung the CAT team.

I also told him about my episode lasst week where I had something sharp and was yelling at my mum (as if she was in the room with me) and I was there but not really there. I told him i thought i was dissociating.

Do you know what he asked me? Were you unconscious? WTF If i was unconscious i wouldn't remember anything, would I? He said you had complete control of what happened those two times. WTF I said to him I remember bits of it but not everything. I don't think he believes me because he said 'nothing tyo worry about'. I told him "if i knew what i was doing and in control then why would i behave and do what i did? he didn't answer.

He aske if he could keep the letter, i said i don't care what you do with the letter. (i have a copy anyway)

He then says to me 'I think you are really calm at the moment, but you may not agree'. No i said i don't agree and in my head i was saying (WTF if only you saw me last wednesday on the floor screaming at my mum) that's not calm!!!

I don't know what to do anymore. i am seeing my new psychologoist on friday and she will probably be upset with me because i didn't use my mental health kit last week when i was supposed to.

But the best bit of today was the massage. Thanks to my son for the voucher, hot rock massage amazing.

My psych now wants to see me in a months time. And he says 'oh you have a lot of stress at the moment, xmas, your parents, medication, selling your home; let's wait and see how you go with the sale and then we'll see if you need an increase in your meds. Great so let's wait and see if i have another melt down when we sell so then he decided that's the right time to increase my meds. WTF!!!

I don't know why I bother with him, i guess it's only because he has admitting rights to the hospital. But i am not going to see him often anymore or whether i should change to another psych. Confused???

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember10 Jan 2017, 6:17 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I can hear how hurt and frustrated you are and maybe feeling very invalidated and dismissed by the dr.

I've felt that way a few times, that noone really gets how low i am. Then at other times when i've not been as bad (i think!) they've suggested hospital! find it confusing and frustrating.

I can't answer your question abotu whether or not to change... I have found that its easier for me to just think of my psychiatrist as only someone who can suggest ideas about medications. Thats the limit of how he can help me.

Did you change/stop any meds or did he suggest to keep going until your review in four weeks? I was told that too... i didnt like my meds (actually still dont because they make me nauseus) but he suggested hospital in order to change them so i shut up.

here with you though,

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 6:56 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. You may not like what I am going to say - but bare with me.
Your psychiatrist is right in a way. You do have control on how you react. You definitely have control in how you react after the event.
Stay with me.
Say for example - last Wednesday melt down.You may not have been able to control yyourself during this episode - as it was an intense episode. But once the episode has run its course, that's what you can control.
That's when you have a cool shower or bath. Go for a fast walk up the hill. Colour your mandela. Etc.
Don't forget to keep trying to have 5 or 10 minute meditation / breathing exercises twice a day. After a month of practicing daily - you can then bring that focus to your breathe, when feeling like you are about to dissociate or have an episode. It may stop the episode before it build - or reduce the severity of the attack.
I think your psych has no communication skills. He needs to explain his reasoning - not just make a statement. Where does he include you, in your health care? Where is your input?
Hopefully on Friday your psychologist will be more receptive to you being a part of your treatment.
You have come a long long way since I first met you on this forum. Keep trying to focus on the positives you have achieved. Keep taking time out for you every day.
I'm very impressed with what you have been able to achieve during trying times.
Sending you big hugs. ♥♥♥

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor10 Jan 2017, 7:02 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. I hope you don't take offence. My intention is not to belittle your reactions at all.II'd never do that intentionally.
I just think the time may be right for you to learn some new coping strategies. I don't see your psych helping you with this. I think you will get this help through your psychologist.

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