not feeling good

@BlueBay Yes you do have every right to be angrywith him. And if he shows any towards you then thats his problem to deal with - NOY YOURS!!!

Enjoy your coffee

Hey @BlueBay

So sorry to hear about your experiences in hospital but sounds like you achieved a lot with organising your house for sale!

I hope you are ok. missed ya!

❤️ @BlueBay ....

Hi @utopia @Former-Member @Zoe7

Love the avatar @Change123 ❣

Hi @BlueBay

Through all that confusion and pain and sorrow you are picking at the bits and picking up the threads and drop stuff and yes - you are getting there

You have a right to be angry and tell your psyche that - oh boy - I got caught with something like that many years ago - but never again - except that when I had surgery and went into a private hospital unfunded (I borrow the money to have a tumour taken out of my knee)

And Yes!!!! I got a bill that would have been covered by my private insurance if I had any - ahhhhhhhh - yeah - they get you coming and going

But about your medical insurance - just a suggestion but this is not the best time to cancel it - talk to the company and see if they can help - I know from the past that it is pretty tough being in the public system

Wow - life can be tough- bitznpiezsz bitznpiezez

Dec

Hey @Zoe7

I love your new avatar picture. Beautiful xxx

Morning @Decadian@Faith-and-Hope@Change123@utopia@Zoe7

This morning I have a doctor's appt to check out this asthma cough. Then I see my psych which i have written him a letter and going to give it to him. In it explains how angry and frustrated i have been since July last last year when he kept changing my meds. Then there was the last hospital admission and that new med. I just want him to know and see how angry and upset i was and probably still am.

After seeing him I am having a hot rock massage!!!! My son bought me a voucher for my birthday last year and I kept it for a 'time in need' and i think after what I've been through lately and the amount of stress I am going through I 'need it now'. And I cannot wait.

Last night I went out to dinner with people from work to farewell a co-worker. A young 21 yr old who worked with us since she was 14. It is so nice to see a young timid shy girl at 14 grow into a beautiful smart confident woman. But my close friend picked me up and on the way home we got onto talking about my depression and i somehow blurted out that i had to call the CAT team the other day because of SH thoughts. She was shocked and begged me to ring her anytime and she would come and just sit with me. She said she would never forgive herself if anything happened to me. I promised her that i would call her if i was in trouble. This was the co-worker/friend who was irritating me last year but since then has changed and is so more supportive. She told me last night that she has never seenn me this bad before. And she has been with me right through the last 7 yrs.

So let's see what today brings. I hope everyone is doing okay, I know i don't support all of you at times, I sometimes get so confused and can't keep up with everyone's journey. But don't think that i don't think of you all because I do.

Hi @BlueBay

We all know you are - it's about helping each other here and right now you are the one running around looking for a life boat on Titanic - and it's our turn to throw you the life-jackets and get you into tht boats and all your fears and desolation of years are getting out now they have started

I never got it when people told me their antibiotics made them feel worse - and in truth - sometimes they do - but often we feel terrible because it is the tablets working and the fever we get is our body working to make us better - pain tells us there is something wrong - and if you had nothing wrong with your life before - none of this could happen - but your bitchy mother started the ball riolling - along with the help of your abusers and you are battling getting better

I really hope this makes sense - but if you eat something bad you have to throw up

Anyway - I remember your work-mate gave you a bit of a hard time last year - she is learning and growing like most normal people and she can see you learning and growing and it hurts you because this is a hard place to recover from. In the last months a few people have come out of the wood-work - the result of answered prayer

No one would want to go through what you are going through - with everything coming at you as it does - but this is your life - and I do remember packing up to move out of my old house after my son had died and my ex and I had split - I kept crying my eyes out - and I think it's like the death of a dream -

When we marry - we are friends - and we start on a journey that leads us in many directions - and in this case this house was once your parents house - and that is all too much now - but this is the time when it has too happen

Essay times - we all get caught into our subject at times

Wishing your better thoughts for the future

Dec

Hi @Decadian

What you say makes perfect sense to me. I do get it. Yes i am struggling, i feel like theres one blow after another; or one struggle after another.

Just saw my GP - he believes my cough is now more anxiety only because I can't get a full breath in )that is more anxiety related) he said if it was asthma it would be the other way round with my breath.

But he could hear some rattles in my chest, so i am to continue taking my puffers and see how i go.

Having a quick bite to eat, then off to my stupid psych appt. Giving him my letter, let's see what he has to say.

I'll be back on here later afternoon. Hope you're day is okay Dec xxoo