not feeling good

Not eat at all so I'll lose the weight quickly. --- this is not true @BlueBay, because they have proven that when you don`t eat your body goes into survival mode and you put more weight on xxx

Hi @Shaz51@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia

I am really angry this morning. I wasn't feeling too good and wanted to see my doctor this morning. But because he has put a boundary and only wants to see me fortnightly, which is this thursday i thought he wouldn't mind seeing me today. Well when i rang his receptionist said to me "is this within the forntight" and I said yes it's this thursday. she said okay i;ll make an appt but I will let your doctor know as well. if there is any changes i will call yoiu. 5 min later the phone rings and it's my doctor. he said he would prefer to leave tyhe appt for thursday and not see me earlier. he asked what was wrong and i told him it';s this continuing diarrhea i have had for theh past 3 weeks and my mental state. he said he know i will be okay until thursday because i am strong. he said he is not abandoning me. BUT this is how i feel right now - he has abandoned me, he is rejecting me today because he hates me and doesn't want to see me; i bet he is laughing because i am a mental person; i am so damn angry with him. i told him that i hate his stupid rules and contract he made up.

so now i have to wait until thursday to see him. he did say to me to call him again this afternoon if need to.

i can't explain how much anger i have at the moment. it's too much.

thank you so much @Faith-and-Hope

you know exactly what i want - yes it's the inner child in me that wants to see him now not thursday. it's like i am having a temper tantrum and want it now but i have to wait.

it's so hard it is so hard. i even thought in my head that i would SH just to 'get back at him' to show him that i needed to see him today. but even that wouldn't help would it?

this is the most difficult thing i have ever had to do - wait. and not feel abandoned or rejected because this is how i feel atm.

sorry i am crying; i need my grand daughter to give her a hug to feel better. hopefully she'll call in this afternoon.

@Faith-and-Hope my daughter called in for 10mins without the baby. her mother in law was minding her. damn i don't get to cuddle her today. oh well.

i needed something to cuddle, i need to hug something for myself. and i don't know what to do.

home alone, pretty teary. thank you for sitting with me and being here for me.

xxoo

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

i am so angry with hubby. i always do the finances, banking etc. he has no idea of money or where it is going to pay a bill or how much is left. i have tried many times to get him tyo do it but he just doesnt.

well today i asked if he was getting paid this week and he said he but only 1/2 as the other 1/2 was paid last fortnight. he got paid in advance. anyway i told him how much was left in the account and he cracked it big time saying no this much should be left in the account. as if i had gone out and spent it all!!! no the bills have been paid through direct debit and we have to buy food to live.

i got so angry and said well i am not doing it anymore, from now on you can do the banking, bills etc. i am not doing it. he then cracked it and said oh that's not what i meant.

well bad luck i am not doing the banking

i am sick and tired of being treated like it's all my fault that the money has gone; it's gone to the bills and direct debits.

Men, who needs them.

i feel like stopping my meds

they are making me put on heaps of weight

i was judged on the weekend by my mum

it was horrible

i didn't take 4 nights of last week

and 3 morning of last week

i haven't told my doctor

he will get angry

i don't care anymore

i am angry, emotional

i have been crying this afternoon

i don't think i am coping as people think i am

You are self-sabotaging again @BlueBay

The only one that truly suffers if you stop taking your meds is YOU.

Your gp may be angry with you but from all previous descriptions of how he has reacted in similar situations he has been very caring.

You know the effects stopping your meds suddenly has and some of those side effects for you are your emotions are all over the place - please reconsider and talk to your gp about a possible change to a med that does not have the same weight gain effects or a plan moving forward to tackle your weight gain.

I have had to change meds because of the huge amount of weight I gained in only a few months - the meds that I am on now are actually working better for me than any we have tried before - and the weight gain has stopped - it isn't the whole solution for me but it is a beginning.

One step at a time my little yellow flower