not feeling good

i wish i knew what med you are on but you're not allowed to tell me @Zoe7

i will tell my doctor when i speak with him.

he needs to know how this is affecting me

that's what happens @Zoe7 when i get angry and emotional i want to self sabotage.

i won't i will talk to him first.

I have been following along with you the last few days but have not been in a position (mentally for myself) to be able to respond - and others have been here for you - but I have seen the same pattern of behaviour with you many times before and it is usually when you are upset/angry that you want to (or do) stop your meds. This then sends you on the downward spiral.

I know things are really tough @BlueBay but do talk to your gp first - he has been an amzing support for you - and the boundaries that are in place are there to protect both of you - especially so he can continue to treat you more long-term. He is trying to make sure that you do not feel abandoned but over-reliance on him (less than each fortnight) actually does not help you improve.

The med I am on now is an 'old fashioned' med and it has not had nearly as much of the side effects that all the others have had - the side effects that are annoying are photophobia and photosensitivity - so can't be out in the sun too long.

i wish i knew what med you are on but you're not allowed to tell me -- but @BlueBay, certain meds might be good for one person but may not be good for other people my friend

so the best person to talk about your meds is your GP , so take your meds

I am trying to get my Mr shaz to have a review of his meds

Im not good this morning

had a terrible night

couldn't sleep had nightmares of my abuse

woke up sobbing

why couldn't my GP just see me yesterday

why do i have to remember my abuse

i am so tired of all of this

will my life get any easier

any better

i am not so sure anymore

maybe my negative thoughts are right

maybe i need to do what it says

maybe there is peace after this

i am sobbing and i don't know what to do

i think i need hospital again

are there any @Former-Member around?? i need to talk

Hi @BlueBay sorry to hear you have had such a horrid night. I am wondering if there is something you can do to distract yourself for now to try to settle your thoughts?

The Sane weekday moderators will be back on from 8am to support you.

Are you able to organise your GP visit for today? If you need to chat to someone imminently you can also contact one of the services below to speak confidentially with a counsellor:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659467
beyondblue Support Service 1300 22 46 36

hi @LouLouMagoo

all i can see is the abuse

all i can do is sit here and rock myself and cry

Ok @BlueBay I am going to hand over to the next moderator and higlight that you are needing support. Hold tight, can you list all the things you can see around you?

i can see my bed, my lamp, i'm crying i can't see anything else

ok, i can see my handbag, my dog came in and left,

Hi @BlueBay,

I am sending you an email