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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Unknown userMember13 Feb 2018, 7:36 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Im sorry things are so hard @BlueBay - sending hugs and sitting with you. 😞

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 7:38 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Iris I can't do this anymore. I want to run away. I want all the memories to go away. I don't want to see them anymore

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 7:39 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member thankyou I'm sobbing I can't stop. It's all coming out

In response to: Re: not feeling good

IrisSenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 7:51 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Yes @ BlueBay these memories are raw, very raw and its understandable you would like them to go away. It is a very difficult time for you dealing with these memories, crying because of them and what has happened to you in the past all because of some one elses misbehaviour towards you. Your headache is the response to letting these memories out and how much that is hurting you physicaly and emotionally. Your feelings today are real, very real at the harm that has neen inflicted onto you when you were young and powerless. You have been doing well, coping with life's ups and downs and now it is our turn (all of our turns here on the forum) to sit with you, to support you as you work through "the letting go" of being powerless time. We are here with you @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 7:57 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Iris I have to go to work and I'm sobbing. Can't take day off. I need to get up and wash my face. It seems real these memories. I want to lash out. I want to hurt someone something. Me. Msybe I want to hurt me. I'm so over all of this. I just want to be better. Live s happy healthy life. But I aren't snd csnt because of these memories and hurt.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

IrisSenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 8:14 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Oh dear @BlueBay you are really hurting very deeply and for what it is worth this is normal. You are hurting, you are hurting for your adult self and for your child self, the child who was powerless.

The Child, Yourself, is no longer powerless but is feeling powerless and overwhelmed with these memories and how they are impacting right now. And yes I understand you want to hurt something or someone even if it is yourself as these emotions are horrid BUT @BlueBay they pass, they always pass leaving you exhausted but a little bit less "hurting". Now,at this moment they are raw still and being overwhelmed is okay, very very okay. Wanting a happy life is okay too but feeling how you are especially now that this is not possible is also okay.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 8:22 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Iris I have to wipe my tears put my mask on and have to go to work. I feel so sick I may go and come home early. I just want to be normal if there is such a thing. I just want a hug. A big warm hug from anyone.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 8:32 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Sending you cyber hugs @BlueBay ..... 💙

I know you are feeling so angry and hurt, and it makes you feel like hurting yourself ..... but try to turn it around to do something loving for yourself instead ..... that inner child you have is seeking that big hug ...... can you wrap both your arms around yourself in a big hug and just rock ...... swing around one way and then the other and back again ...... rocking her, your inner child, in a big warm hug from your adult self ?

Keep telling her it wasn’t her fault, and that you love her and will be taking care of her from now on ?

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 12:17 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Thankyou beautiful friend faith-and-hope
Xxoo
Still struggling inside built up emotions. Want to go home but can't. Still have headache.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry my heart out.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 12:23 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope

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