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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Unknown userMember13 Feb 2018, 2:40 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hearing you @BlueBay hope you are taking good care of yourself today and the headaches eases 🙂

In response to: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 2:45 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

sending you hugs @BlueBay and sitting with you

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 4:22 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Thankyou @Shaz51

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 4:26 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Former-Member
I'm crying. Home from work now. Headache and sore back. I rang my doctor st lunchtime and told him I wanted to run away. I want to Sh to release my emotions. Crying is all i want to do.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 4:35 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Former-Member Headsche is still here along now with a sore back. Home now from work. Cried at work. Rang my doctor at lunchtime and told him I wanted to run away that I couldn't do this anymore. I can't keep going over the same memories all my life. My life atm is consumed with memories of my abuse and my parents. I'm crying so much I feel I could Sh. I am so bad atm.
I need time.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 5:36 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Former-Member

tonight when i go to bed (before hubby) i am going to give myself a hug and cry for my little girl. i will try to tell my little child that it's okay. it's going to be hard but i will try. i have been crying most of the day except when at work.

i have realised today that i have so much healing to do and work with this new psychologist. it is going to take a long while to heal and repair the damage the childhood abuse has done and also the damage my parents in particular my mum has done.

i never realised that as a child you NEED the love, care, hugs from your parents and when you don't get it you become confused growing up thinking how do yoiu get the love, care and hugs. Who do you trust? It was explained to me yesterday that as I was a confused child and then when these guys abused me as a child i thought i could trust them (as they were family and friend) and give me love but they didn't - quite the opposite. They hurt me, they abused me, they took advantage of me. So of course growing up i was even more confused. this is why now i have so much issues with hubby and intimacy.

For once i have found a psychologist who deals with complex trauma, childhood trauma - so i think i have found the right hope. i can only hope.

i feel so screwed up, i wish i could go away. i am too scared to continue living because it's scary and confronting and emotional 😞

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember13 Feb 2018, 5:36 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Sounds like a really tough day @BlueBay lots of horrible memories making you feel horrible, try taking it easy tonight and doing some thing's to calm you down and distract you from those memories, even if it is for 5 minutes here and there. It is good you are using the forum for support too 🙂

I really like the idea of giving that little girl a huge hug and having some compassion for those difficult experiences

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 5:38 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Sending you more hugs @BlueBay ..... remember to cuddle that little girl inside you .....

As old as I am, sometimes I sit on a swing in a children’s playground when it’s empty, and just swing .....

Maybe it will help you to do “little girl” stuff for a while @BlueBay ..... just to allow your inner child who suffered as a child to experience some innocent playtime. It’s another way of nurturing her.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember13 Feb 2018, 5:40 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hugs @BlueBay - i am finishing work and about to collect children and go drop one off for after school activities but wanted you to know that I'm so getting how hard it is and that these awful days are really awful. my head is often full of things i wish i could just forget and get rid of. I'm glad you have found a psychologist who is knowledgeable in this field as i think that its so important. Also glad to hear that you are going to look after the little girl how she should have been looked after. sending hugs look after you gently too.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Bubbles3Senior Contributor13 Feb 2018, 5:45 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

hearing you @BlueBay 💚💙💛💜❤😚

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.