not feeling good

Hi @Shaz51@Former-Member@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Zoe7

I haven't heard yet about the jobs. I prob didn't get any 😞

I received an email today saying our private health insurance has stopped because there was no payment made last month. I had to phone them and tell them we are struggling financially. do you know how difficult that is - to make that phone call. i was crying. it all worked out well, the lady said that she can waive a month of payments and once we start paying next week when hubby gets paid we will be in front with our payments. I started to cry as i thought they would say no we had to pay now.

I am super sensitive at the moment, crying at the drop of a hat. even the CAT team noticed on Monday how sensitive i was. i have to see them again this coming friday. not sure if they will stop seeing me then or keep going. don't know.

i can't keep living like this, that's why i feel so bad and need to SH or even worse go away. it is the most hardest thing tyo have to live with - financial hardship. i have never had to get so much help lately and i feel so low, so terrible and it's not easy.

i have been sick with my stomach and headaches - my GP thinks is all stress but if i don't get better by friday he wants me to ring him. it's just constant at the moment.

how is everyone, what have you all been up to?

take care, chat soon

BB xxxooo

Hi @BlueBay .... 💐💙💕

I had an out-and-about day yesterday, and I am again today pretty much too .... but I wanted to stop in here and let you know I am listening ..... walking along with you ......

There will be a certain amount of job applications that are declined before reaching whatever the special number is where they choose you ..... so just persevere with that ..... “failing” (and it’s not really failing) is a normal part of success ..... all the hit-n-miss of it is not personal to you, it’s happening to everybody.

i have entered art competitions. My work has not been accepted amongst the finalists. That doesn’t mean I am hopeless ..... it just means that that particular piece of artwork, no matter who had painted it, is not what they were looking for. And these were big-name competitions, because they were the ones I wanted to enter, instead of much smaller local competitions where I would be far more likely to have not only been accepted amongst the finalists, but far more likely to win.

I am sure the jobs you are applying for are the ones that will give you the right sort of income, and the right sort of job satisfaction, in areas you have some experience with so your work history counts towards them. You could instead be applying for other jobs, like working in a supermarket as night-fill staff, or as an office cleaner, or for Main Roads ...... and there is nothing at all wrong with these work choices, it’s just about whether they suit you, whether they pay enough to meet your financial needs, whether you are capable of the physical work involved, etc ...... but these jobs may also have a much higher hiring rate and take in more people.

Its all relative. Please try not to take it personally when there is no response or you are declined. I hope looking at it from this perspective helps you.

💙

thanks for your reply @Faith-and-Hope 🙂

I still haven't heard anyuthing yet about the jobs. Oh well.

I had a meeting with the CAT team again this afternoon. I lost it in the room. I sobbed because of our finances and told them i was over it. i couldn't live like this anymore and tht i am desperate for another job but am feeling overwhelmed with everything going on.

the lady was listenining and writing, don't really know what she was writing. she asked me if i was suicidal - i told her i am not sure, i just want everything to go away. she has suggested i make an appt to see a financial counsellor next week. on monday she and a psychologist are seeing me to assess me for eligibility to do the DBT program through the local hospital for free. if i go through i can start, but i hope it's not on a work day and that i can do it.

i am a bit anxious about the whole thing but anything new i get nervous.

how was your day today? it reached 40 degrees today terribly hot. we are home with the air con on watching the tennis.

Hi @utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@Former-Member@Zoe7

still haven't heard back from the jobs - oh well i will just have to wait 🙂

@BlueBay

Everything still crossed @BlueBay 💕

fingers crossed @BlueBay and sending you hugs

Hi @Shaz51@utopia@Former-Member@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope

feeling very sensitive and fragile, crying at the drop of a hat.

so much mixed emtions at the moment

still nothing reg. jobs

i am getting very desperate reg. needing a new job because no money

my SH urges are getting stronger because of this desperation

even my suicide thoughts

this is crazy, i can't live like this,

i am so desperate and overwhelmed

it feels like i need to fix this 'right now' - but i can't

i need to though