not feeling good

Hi there @BlueBay, I'm so sorry to hear that 2018 has started so difficulty for you and your family. It sounds like an incredibly stressful time for you. I really hope that the two job applications you made yesterday are succesful. Try not to think about the interview process until that time comes. @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @Zoe7@Shaz51 @Former-Member, myself and other Forums members will be here to support you if/when that time comes. In the mean time I am sending positive thoughts your way and encourage you to keep reaching out here for support, or to our Help Centre. Take care of yourself.

thanks @Former-Member

I'm not able to stop worrying about things for eg. how to pay our bills, why are we so bad. If only my hours weren't cut back by half last year I wouldn't be in this situation now.

thank you for your support

BB

Hey my beautiful yellow flower @BlueBay

So sorry you are so stressed and things are so hard for you. I wish I could give you that huge hug that you need but I am still sitting on your shoulder BB

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@Zoe7@Former-Member@utopia@Shaz51

I knew this morning wasn't going to be a good day.

I looked at our finances at it was worse than what I thought. This sent me into panic station, i had an appt with my GP and once i walked in there i let it all out. I told him i wanted to die, i want all this to be over, i am so over living like this with no money, i told him "i need yoiur help before it's too late". I told him i was having lots of suicide thoughts daily and he didn't know that. He said it would be good to go home and have the day off to which i replied if i did that i would take something to end it all. He then said he then needs to call the ambulance to take me to hospital so i can speak to a mental health clinician.

at this stage i was a crying mess, not thinking straight, just crying. The ambulance didn't take long and they wree really nice, chatting to me and trying to calm me down. they drove me to the hospital and put me into a room. Not long after a clinician came in and chatted and asked questions. She decided that i needed to stay overnight just to calm myself down and have a break. I agreed. But unfortunately she found out that the unit was full and no one was being discharged. So i was sent home on the condition that my husband pick me and up and that he stays home with me with a follow up call from the mental health team.

i feel exhausted now, i feel i have run a marathon from the crying. my head aches. I am seeing my own psychologist on monday so i will let her know what has been happening as well. she needs to know whether to tell my psych and change meds, i don't know.

if this needs to happen then i will go back into hospital. not really sure yet.

i just want all this to end, i am sick of trying to feel better, feel good about myself, i try so hard at times and then other times it doesn't work.

Hi @BlueBay, feels like its been a while since I've seen you about on here...... it's nice to say hi to you this afternoon 🙂

I'm really sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time at the moment. You mention feeling exhausted, wondering if you can try and support yourself around that with some rest and self care now? Thinking about you and sending virtual support through 🙂

Hi @BlueBay

Financial problems can cause a lot of worry and stress. I do see this a lot where I work at my neighbour centre. Please know that there are services there that can assist with food, bills, car repairs, clothing, registration, white goods and they offer no interest loans (nils). And social workers that can also assist and see to your needs. This is all there to assist those struggling as you are. Please do not feel embarrassed to ask for help there or hardship assistance through Centreline. They all are there to help. Take heart.

Never is money worth taking our lives over - there are solutions and help out there. I have seen myself in the same hardship situations at times in my life as has my daughter, and it works out somehow. Don't give up or let worry take over which helps or changes nothing but becoming highly distressed. Keep telling yourself that. Seeking so,unions and help is the answer and not letting the worry overtake your thoughts.

Take heart and when you feel the stress hold your granddaughter in your arms and surround yourself with family and feel the love and safety. That is what really matters in life and what is important. For now just take it one day at a time @BlueBay and try not to worry, believe that you will be looked after and nurture the self belief that you and your husband have the capacity to work it out and deal with it together. You have faced financial restraints and concerns before and you can do it again. For now try and deal with the money issue the best you can "one day at a time" until something is worked out and better days are found. The job you seek make pop up soon - focus on getting yourself in the best place possible to succeed by keeping positive. Sending you a warm hug 🤗

Thank you @utopia @Faith-and-Hope for yoiur support.

Thanks @Former-Member for yoiur support and emails.

@Former-Member where do I start?? thank yoiu so much. i am so embarassed and ashamed to go and ask for help. But maybe tomorrow afternoon i will go to the community help centre and ask for help. Even if they give me a food voucher where I can buy some basic essentials to last a week (that is all I need) until next pay.

My grand daughter is here tonight for a little while. I love holding her and talking to her. But then my negative crap starts in my head, i need to let that bit go and concentrate on my grand daughter.

I could even go to Centrelink and ask them for assistance, just for the short term. I will see how i go tomorrow.

I just received a phone call from a mental health clinician to say they would like to see me tomorrow afternoon. I guess they just want to make sure I am okay and won't do anything to myself.

I do hope this new job i applied for comes my way and it will help us financially a lot. It was my old job that i did 4 yrs ago but this time it is only 3 days a week but better pay. I have my friend who works there as well and she is my referee and will put in a good word for me. I really hope i get this job. And it's only 15 mins down the road from home.

Thanks for the hugs everyone, i can really feel the love.

BB xxxooo