not feeling good

Hello dear @BlueBay

I am glad you are going to Centrelink to talk to them and explain that you are suffering financial hardship. Where do you start? You can ring, or what would be better is to personally visit your closest Neighbour or Community centre and talk to the staff there explaining your hardship and the help you need. They will advise, help, support and take it from there. They can provide and organise food, clothings, financial help with bills and goods that you may need to see you through until you get back on your feet - they "will give you a hand up".

This assistance will help you to save to pay your mortgage and/or rent if that is an issue. Many of my customers tell me that the help they receive from us enables them to save the money from their low income to keep a roof over their heads. A good thing and very important.

Also ask the community centre if they have a social worker there you can see as talking it through may help relieve your worries and she/he may further advise of what help is out there for you. Or ask them where you can find one. A good one is worth their weight in gold. Centrelink may still have social workers as well.

If you have debts you can also apply through NILS for a no interest loan to see you with what I stated in my last post as well. Most community centres will provide this service and also give you vouchers or refer you to charities that do, to pay for certain utility bills (electricity is now so expensive many are finding it difficult to pay them which is putting them in a situation of not being able to pay the rent or mortgage). Do not feel embarrassed as many are struggling similarly. It's a growing problem in our society and you are not alone.

I am glad you found comfort and reprieve in your granddaughter - keep doing this and keep feeling the love. It endures all and will see us through anything. You are right - it will help you to let go of your worries for abit and concentrate on your precious granddaughter - something money cannot buy. This will give your mind relief and help your anxiety levels.

Doing all the above will make you feel more secure to help create a more positive outlook pushing out those egative thoughts for your future, and help you settle to have the best possible chance of securing that job. Don't be disheartened if you do not get the first job you go for. Try your best, keep positive and "it will happen". Don't give up. The right job will be found and/or other solutions will be presented to you. It will work out if we strive to do our best, use any help out there and not give up. Keep holding onto hope as it will see you through this. And we will walk with you until all settles. Lots of love ❤️

Hi @Former-Member

I went to the local community support centre this afternoon after work and they were closed. i had just missed them. i was so nervous and didn't want to go but i did. i will go on monday morning as i have the day off and ask for help. i will also go to Centrelink on monday and ask for help, even maybe see a social worker. see what they can do for us.

i had to go and see a mental health clinician this afternoon based at our local hospital. the lady i saw was rerally nice but i broke down and cried and cried. she said just let it all out, i bet you haven't cried for a while. i told her i hadn't because i keep it all in. i told her i want to die and she said what was stopping me. i told her my kids. she said i could go to hospital if i want and she would ring and see if there is a bed available now but i said no because i would be okay over the weekend while hubby and kids are around. she agreed but said next week on tuesday i have to go and see her again and if i am still the same i can go in for a couple of days. she has also made an appt for me to see their own psychiatrist who may look at my meds and maybe change them or take some off or add something. Not sure.

i am at home now while hubby is cooking a bbq i thought i would ocme on here and let you all know how i am going. hi to @utopia @Faith-and-Hope and @Zoe7 Thanks so much to @Former-Member for your support during the day today with your emails. i really appreciate your support.

i went to work and felt very isolated. the girls at work didn't even ask me how i was after having hyesterday off. not 'how are you', nothing. they literally ignored me most of the day. i had to just do my job, serve customers and tried very hard to not get upset. it is so hard when people don't treat you right. not even the pharmacist asked me how i was? just shows how much they all care.

i better go and help hubby cook, i have to make a salad. i will try to come back on later.

take care everyone

BB xxxoo

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member@utopia@Former-Member@Zoe7

Boy it's hot today. 32 degrees already and it's getting hotter. I have got the air con on and drawn all the curtains together to stay nice and cool. I did a bit of washing before, i even managed to give the dog a bath.

I'm going to sit inside today and read a book. something i haven't done for a very long time. well try to read the book. i do struggle with concentration and remembering whta i have read, but i will give it a go.

hubby and one son is home at the moment so i am feeling contained in my SH thoughts. i still have them but they are not so scary or real at the moment.

I was told yesterday by the mental health clinician that if these thoughts get out of control or i don't feel right to ring them and go straight to hospital.

i am feeling that most of this has been triggered by Christmas and having no money. Actually i am sure of this. Because as soon as i saw the balance of our account i went into panic mode and lost it completely. you see hubby never looks at our accounts, he assumes we always have money in our account. he just goes shopping and buys stuff without even looking to see if there is money in the account. it is always me that looks first. and that really annoys me off because i am the one who then has to deal with it - and i can't.

good morning @BlueBay

hot up here too , sending you hugs

What book are you reading ? I am going to do some more jisaw puzzle today , Mr shaz has gone back to bed xx

Hi @Shaz51

A book by Cathy Kelly called 'The Honey Queen'. About a husband who was made redundant but didn't tell his wife. their dream home, projects and marriage is under terrible strain because of this. She decides to open a wool shop and finds love. she rediscovers the joy in life.....

The books sounds good so i'll let you know. hope hubby is okay.

BB xxxooo

The book sounds interesting @BlueBay

Yes mr shaz had some pre cancer sun spots removed yesterday , soo recovering today