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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Aww thanks @Zoe7 you made me smile 🙂

you know i sometimes think of you when i am out and about.

I am glad to see yoiu are okay, just little steps is the key isn't it??

Is it hot where you are today?

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @Shaz51

yes she is the love of my life at the moment

i don't know what i would do without her

that's why i am still here because of her, she is my little angel

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay I was just about to write that the storm has hit - it is absolutely bucketting down......

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay

what a lovely project you can do , a book of photos and photos of things you have made , spending time and lots of cuddles , writting down wonderful things she has done that have made you smile , what a lovely gift to give her when she turns 21

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

OMG @Zoe7 really, it is humid here, a few spits of rain but no storm yet. maybe later.

take care, hope the rain doesn't get to heavy.

i better go now and do some stuff around the house.

i will chat again soon

take care lovely friend @Zoe7

BB xxxooo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Good project @Shaz51

i actually need to print off some photos from my phone and put in an album so i can show my friends.

i hate usinig my phone to show photos. i will treasure the memory of her first smile to me.

hope yoiu and Mr @Shaz51 are both doing okay.

take care i will chat again soon

BB xxxoo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

ok @BlueBay take care my awesome friend

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. It's very hot and humid here. I have on a wet singlet and a cold facewasher on the back if my neck. Hot flushes not helping. Evaporative cooler on, but doesn't work well in humidity.
When you feel so bad you want to self harm, you're probably better contacting BeyondBlue or LifeLine. They can respond to you immediately and help calm down those thoughts.
I think the doctor this morning was right and said it so well. It is your MI talking and acting - not YOU.
They aren't going to abandon you, but after hours, they can't help. But the Help Lines can.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Just a quick fly-by @BlueBay - the storm really hit hard but there is nothing I can do about any damage until it dries out a bit - so I am just leaving that in the back of my mind until I have to deal with it.

It was really lovely 'seeing' you today and I hope we can catch up again soon.

...always sitting on your shoulder my beautiful yellow flower

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Zoe7

how are you lthis morning? It is bucketing down here. no swimming down the beach today!! Oh well, i guess it's an inside day today. I am bored already. I need to do some grocery shopping but we are flat broke and can't afford much at all. I don't get paid until Tuesday next week so it is very very tight money wise here. It is making me quite anxious lately because we are so tight with money. I am blaming myself for this because my hours were cut back at work by half.

I just feel like crying today that's all i want to do. but hubby is home and i have to not show him my tears.

damn that's hard.

my head is everywhere at the moment with fleeting thoughts of what i can do next in my mind to be 'rescued'. i have tyhis whole scenario played out in my head of what i can do. trouble is i am scared that i will play out this scenario one day soon. i think i need to talk to my GP about it. It's really difficult at the moment because i don't have a pyschologidst i see regularly. haven't seen one for about 3 months. and not seeing one until next year in january when i am referred to a new one who can help me with my childhood trauma. so because i have no one i am talking more to my GP. i am so glad he is understanding, just hope he understands my plot of what i want to do next to myself.

how are you going @Zoe7, what are you doing today? Is it raining out your way?

hope to chat to you soon. xxoo

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