not feeling good

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I don't know what will work, i feel like i am someone different.

Like i don't know who i am or what i want. it's like i am in a different place. none of this is making sense is it??

i am trying to watch some tv with hubby but my mind is still wandering to the negative and stressing so bad about the finances

i might try and talk to lifeline via chat online and if not i will call my GP tomorrow morning before i start work

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

i didn't call Lifeline last night. I let it go by watching tv. You know I feel like a little child when i do this, when i call my GP and ask for help. it feels like i am crying for help, and if i don't get the hlep then i do more to get his attention. it's wrong but this is how i do things.

i called my own GP this morning and told him about last night and said to him that i am thinking negative a lot lately, he ssaid i have been thorugh a lot lately and that it will take at least 6 weeks for the meds to work, and also for me to readjust being home and work again after being in hosptial for 4 weeks. he told me i am doing really well and have improved since the start of the year. he said to slowly do things, just get out of bed, eat breakfast get ready for work and slowly get into the day.

he told me he is not angry at me for ringing him as that is what he told me to do.

he wants me to stay on these meds for at least this year, then we can talk about options, but for now i have to stay on them. i promised him i would stay on them for a few weeks and then talk. he understands my reasoning and said he feels for me but still wants me on them for a while longer.

Hi @BlueBay

I am glad you have the ACT course set up even if their are triggers and bumps on the way.

I know you stick things out even if you are not confident.

My pdoc mentioned something about me having a mixed state and there are problems with too many antidepressants causing people to get manic, which can lead to a Bi Polar III.

DOnt worry about reading things out in the group. You like the facilitator and the group are more likely to support you than anything.

Take Care of you

Gently, like your inner child is that new grandbub.

Apple

Thank you @Former-Member@Appleblossom@Faith-and-Hope for your help last night.

It's not any better today. I went to work and when i finished a lot of negative thoughts came to me - I am not a good wife, mother, friend and no one wants me around so it's time i don't stay around.

i called my GP and told him about my negative thoughts and he said 'oh this is not good' but he said it is still early days from coming out of the hospital. he told me not to buy into these thoughts that i am a good person. i told him that i may as well go away and hurt myself or end my life because no one wants me. he reminded me of my grand daughter and how much joy she brings me. i said to him okay she does bring me joy but there's nothing else. he said this is the illness talking not the real me talking.

i had to promise him that i would go home and distract myself and if i got worse to call the CAT team. i am seeing my GP in two weeks time.

i crired and told my GP that i hate myself like this, why am i like this; why do i feel so crazy. he said he understands and feels for me but i need to trust him that i will get through this.

@Former-Member thanks for providing me some distractioin skills. i rmember doing this years ago and forgot about it. so thanks for reminding me again.

I'm starting to get get pain in my side of my head. terrible headache, think i need to lay down. i keep getting these headaches on my temple must tell my GP. my psych thought it could be arthritis in the temple??

i feel like a little child again, my inner child is out again, wanting a big hug from someone anyone.

my child wants to be loved, cared, nurtured

mayube i should grab a pillow and hug that

I would love to give you a big hug @BlueBay , so sending you some tender hugs

Aww thank you @Shaz51 I can feel your hug. thank you. xxxooo

Hugs from me too @BlueBay .... and yes. hug your pillow ..... ♥️