not feeling good

Hi everyone

I am not feeling good, something is not right. I am feeling confused, exhaused and very slow with things. I am on slow go. I can't get hold of my GP until Monday. All i can do is take things slow and not rush with things.

I am sure it's this new medication i am on, only been one week.

Hearing you @BlueBay .... 💜💐🐚💕

hugs @BlueBay

Hi @Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Zoe7@utopia

I'm going to the hospital this morning to do an outpatient progrma. It is on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). @utopia have you done this one? I have been told by my psych that i must do this otherwise i have to travel to the city (over an hour) and do it at one of the bigger hospitals. which i don't want to have to go. This one at my hospital is not the full proper course but for now it will do and my psych is happyh that at least i am going to do it.

i woke up with a headache and not really wanting to go but i am dressed and just waiting for time to pass. I have to be there for three hours, we do a walk around the block first, then we have a coffee at the cafe, then we startr the ACT therapy, then lunch, then home. It's a small group which is nice and run by a really nice psychologist who I've known for a few years now.

Hope you are all doing okay, i do think of you often it's just that i haven't chatted much on here at the moment, sorry.

take care

BB xxxooo

thinking of you @BlueBay

Hi @utopia

I did the first day yesterday and we talked about goal setting. That was okay. Then we talked about cognitive diffusion techniques. well htat's where i am now stressing. For eg. when a negative thought comes to mind you could say to yourself 'thank you mind for that thought but i will do ......."

we have to write down an example over the next fortnight and bring back to the psycholoigist and say it in front of the group. - well that's where i get scared, totally scared. what if i get it wrong, what if mine is dumb answer, i dont understnd. alrready my head is going 100 miles ann hour and i am stressing and getting emotional over what i need to do. i didn't really understand the whole thing but was too scared to ask her to explain in front of the group.

I knew things weren't right.

I keep thinking I am going to pass out, faint. It's a scary thought.

I was not good before so i called my GP and told him how frightened i was about things and how bad our finances are again. and how this has led me to be so destructive, angry and want to stop my meds.

he listened and asked who i was angry with - i replied with the medical people, my psych for putting me on all these meds and now i am overweight.

i told him thta i wasn't thinking straight, am not understanding what he was saying. he told me to contact lifeline if need be, or the CAT team but to take things slowly tonight and to contact my normal GP in the morning. i told him i want to be in hospital again where i was safe. i was not talking properly, very weird.i want to stop all my meds, what's the point they put me on them for a while them stop them change them to something else. i am sick of being a guinea pig.

oh boy i am so not thinking straight tonight.

i am sorry i came on here, i needed to talk to someone. i don't want to ring lifeline or the CAT team. because then my hubby will know. he doesn't know how i am feeling.

it is so damn hard to hide it from him. my emtions are boiling inside of me.