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not feeling good

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

thats great BB

just take it day by day, your a Nonna now and this little human will help bing back the joys of living

good to hear from you and the new plans that your implementing

@BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Great news @BlueBay. Yes I'm sure today the room is quite warm. Even our breeze in the country is warm.
Well done on your weight loss plan. That will also help with the chiro & balance.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia@outlander@Faith-and-Hope@Zoe7@Phoenix_Rising@Shaz51

Update:

I am home today from the hospital for the afternoon. going to watch the footy with hubby, my daughter and her partner. i will get lots of cuddles today with Ayla. can't wait.

i am doing okay in hospital although i have noticed there is a pattern of happiness and then deep sadness to anxiety. i feel happy for a little while, even laughing with the other girls in the hosital, then a great drop into depression, sadness and hibernation, then turning to anxiety where i feel sick in the stomach. i only noticed this pattern this morning. i will have to tgell my psych on monday when i see him.

oh there is some big big news - during the week i phoned my parents!!!

yes you all read right - i phoned them. i have been thinking about this for a while as you all know they have been on my mind for a while, (well my dad has been on my mind for a while). i was speaking to my psych and he said that i needed to make a decision that my parents are getting older and if something was to happen i would have to live with that guilt of not seeing them.

so on the monday night i grabbed my phone, told the nurses what i was going to do, they put me in a consulting room so no one could hear me and i called. at first my mum was cold towards me but then it was as if nothing had changed. she was her old self. she was happy to hear from me. i told her i was ringing to let her know that my daughter had her baby. she asked about the baby and my daughter. she then asked about the boys, my husband, his mum and asked about my mental health. i told her i wasn't that great, changing meds and not sure how long i will be in hospital.

she asked when she would see me and i told her on the weekend we would call in.

the next day she called me to see how i was. i cried during the day because i realised what was going to happen - i was soon going to see my dad and now i cannot wait.

so we are going to go tomorrow (sunday) for a coffee in the morning. she said she will let my daughter rest and get adjusted to being at home with Ayla before she and my dad go over.

i feel good but still have this high anxiety towards going over, seeing them again after 2 1/2 years. i am scared of being emotinally and verbally abused again like last time. i know how hurt i was last time and i dont' want to be hurt again like that.

it's scary but nice at the same time if that makes sense.

I will try to get back on here after my parents' visit tomorrow before i go back into hospital to let yoiu all know how i went.

BB xxxoo

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Wow @BlueBay. I can't believe you made the call. Well done you!!! That shows grest strength and improvement of your growth. YOU CALLED THEM!!!
I expect it would be normal to be nervous. But the hospital might be able to give you a prn, to help calm your nerves tomorrow.
WOW. I'm so proud of you for making that call. That took courage. And you did it. Celebrate that!!!
I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending you my best wishes for a successful reunion.
One step at a time. ♥♥♥♥

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

WOW .... WOW .... WOW ..... 😲😲😲 .....

@BlueBay you were AMAZING girl .... ❣️

I still can't believe you did that .... proud doesn't say it well enough ....

You were AMAZING girl .... ❣️

And I am soooo proud of your mother too, you know that ?! She did well ... and after 2 1/2 half years to miss you, and realising probably that that meant she was not only likely to miss out on this grandchild, but any other future grandchildren coming to you too .... well ... !!

But YOU did this ..... YOU picked up the phone and made it happen ,... YOU who is the one who had suffered the most awful abuse .... you found that inner strength and just did it ❣️

Woo-hoooooo BlueBay ..... you were AMAZING girl .... ❣️

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay I have never been more proud of you than I am right now - and soooooo very happy for you too my beautiful little yellow flower You did it and it is working out better than anyone could have imagined. Your life really is turning around BB and that is both uplifting and magical for you. Keep this happiness inside you and you will soar my beautiful friend

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Soooo proud of you @BlueBay

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

wow @BlueBay that is huge! Well done, so proud of you too, congrats! Will be looking forward to hearing about how it all goes and hoping that seeing your dad is wonderful! lots of love to you!

In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BB 👍 💜💕

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Hi my beautiful little yellow flower Dropping off a present for you so you know I am thinking of you and miss you @BlueBay

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