not feeling good

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @Phoenix_Rising

I am so angry now. I rang work to say I would go back tomorrow as I am not going into hospital. you would think they would be happy to have me back. HELL NO!!!!

I then receive an email from my supervisor who says that he got a phone call from my store to say that i was going back to work. he said he can't have me back at work until I have been cleared from my doctor. He wants a letter of clearance. he then said for me to call him. I called and he was a bit cold towards me on the phone. he said after what happened last friday he wants a clearance. i said what do you know of what happened on friday and he said he knows about the police comingn to work looking for me and that i was in my car at the back of work (i had finished work at this stage).

He said he has arranged rosters for last week and this week and next week and i am not to go to work until i get the all clear and he receives the letter. So i can't go to work. Talk about rejection. He was so clear, straight down the line.

Not how are you, how are things, are you feeling better.

@Faith-and-Hope I didn't go for a walk at all. I called my GP and sobbed and told him i don't know what to do. I am seeing him at 5pm and he will help me work out what to do. Hopefully he will give me the 'all clear'.

Just had a thought before - hubby and i could pack our car and travel up north for a few weeks. we don't have any ties down here, i can't go to work for a few weeks and he can have annual leave. my daughter isn't due for another 6 weeks and our son would be fine alone at home. i would love to get some warm sun into me and a break.

God i am so angry with so many people at the moment. It's not a work cover thing because it didn't happen at work or even during work. It happened after work and at least 15 minutes after work. It had nothing to do with work.

Hi @BlueBay,

I can totally hear how angry you feel about your work situation at the moment. However, I can also see why the situation is playing out as it is. I have had two major workplace incidents and the reality is that most employers do not cope well with mental health issues. However you look at it, stigma is alive and well when it comes to mental illness. No employer is going to want someone around who is considered a risk to self or others (and having the police come looking for you is going to make an employer think that). When I applied for the disability pension, I was really surprised I got it - everyone at CL told me not to bother applying. I think the reason I got it was because at that stage I had had an incident of self-harm in the workplace and thus I am deemed a risk in the workplace. I totally hear you that your situation didn't actually occur at work, but I can see how your employer would be concerned. I guess this is an example of where self-harm can complicate an already complicated situation. I have got myself into oh-so-many similar pickles over the years. I get it.

I super hope you are able to get it sorted out so that you can return to work super soon. Alternatively, a trip away sounds like a super idea.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@Phoenix_Rising

I went to my GP last night and he wrote a letter giving me the all clear to go back to work. He said that the supervisor is just covering all bases. He said that when the hospital say there's a bed available and i go in to let my GP know and he will write a letter saying I am unwell for work. He said the supervisor doesn't need to know anymore than that.

I am really scared now that i will get the sack. What if he sacks me because i have taken so much time off over the time. I asked my GP and he said no he can't sack you for having time off because of your mental illness. That would be inappropriate. But i am really worried now.

I will just wait now for him to email me now to say yes i can go back to work. i am hoping i can go back tomorrow but i need to wait to hear from him.

and if he doesn't reply to the doctor's letter i will email him and ask if he received the letter via fax.

@Phoenix_Rising do you think i am deemed a risk now at the workplace and if yes does that mean i can get the sack? Even though i didn't do anything seroius to myself and it was outside of work and when i finished work?

Yeah a trip away does sound good, pack our bags and drive away up north where it's warmer. But i need to wait now and see what happens here with work.

Hi @BlueBay,

It's great that your GP is being so supportive. I don't know the legal situation around sacking someone if they are deemed a risk, so I'm not going to voice an opinion on that.

In my situation, I was "pushed" out of the workplace. That is, they didn't specifically say it was due to the incident, they just super cut my hours to the point where it was untenable. In my second workplace incident, the job was always going to be time limited as I was engaged to do a specific project. The incident happened when I was close to finishing the project. They kind-of sped things up and thereby pushed me out much quicker than they would have if the incident hadn't occurred. In that incident, I was deemed to have engaged in an "act of violence" because of the manner in which I dumped some very big feelings in response to a trauma trigger. Given that my "act of violence" didn't cause harm to myself, others, or property, this super sucked. However, I recognise that I can present as extremely loud and chaotic when I'm in crisis and this can be perceived as violence.

So...I don't know the answer @BlueBay. From previous posts it sounds like your work situation was already strained. Anyway, whatever happens, it is survivable. At the time, both of my workplace incidents were huge crises but somehow, like with every other adventure, I survived. And you can too.

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising for your reply and advice.

I received an email today from my supervisor saying he received my doctor's letter stating i am fit to return to work. But he said that I can resume work next Tuesday not tomorrow as I had thought. so that's another week at home with no pay. I don't think it's fair but i am too scared to argue the point with him so i will shut up and stay home. I'm angry because my GP gave me the all clear as of yesterday to go back to work and the supervisor says yes come back next week. I don't understand.

Hello @BlueBay, how are you my friend

Hi @Phoenix_Rising @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Zoe7

Update on my drama -

CAT team clinicians have closed their books on me as their is no bed available in the public ward - all 6 beds are taken up.

The privarte hospital is completely full and they suggested i go back to work. They said there will be beds available in ther next 2-4 weeks time. My psych comes back 14 Sept and he will admit me then. There is no other psych who is prepared to admit me 😞 😞 This sucks big time

My work supervisor says i can go back to work next Tuesday, not today as my doctor agreed on 😞

I am feeling very very exhausted, i don't know why whether i am coming down with something. No motivation to do anything. Sleeping right through the night, then waking up late in the morning and snoozing again late morning and then again in the afternoon. this isn't normal for me. i am seeing my GP on Friday so i will tell him. It could be my iron levels are low. Or my depression.

And also i have no emotion at the moment. I haven't cried for a few days (don'mt know if that's a good thing or not) whether a storm of tears will come anytime soon. But there is no emotion, i am flat, i am nothing. Not sure what to think about this.