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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 10:41 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I have been following how you are going and thinking about you

You have been getting some great support from others and it seems like you are in a much better place at the moment.

Goodluck with signing the house papers today

I knew you had the strength within you to get through the last few days - keep moving forward my friend.

I am still here if you need.

Zoe7

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 10:48 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay - I always want to type bluebells when I enter your name. Lol.
Good luck at the doctors. I hope it went well and they are able to control your asthma better.
Wow. Today is the day to sign the papers. Another amazing step for you. Am so proud of all these achievements you are making. All these steps will lead to a more peaceful and enjoyable life.
Don't forget to spoil yourself today - for all you've achieved. A new nail polish. A soak in the bath. A book you've been wanting to read.
All the best for a good afternoon.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 11:09 am AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope

I'm excited about signing today but also really sad. Because this house was my parents house and it has lots of memories (good and bad) (this is not the house where I was abused as a child though). It is tghe last tie to my mum and dad. It's huge. But I have to do it. i have to. it's the only way i will get some peace and finding our own place what we like will be exciting, nerve wrecking and difficult. But no pressure because i told hubby we can rent for a little while if need be.

I know it's going to be tough moving, packing, relocating but maybe this is what i need right now. A cleanse of myself, my life, my house.

I am just so scared that i will stuff up somewhere along the line. i really hope not.

I've got antibiotics for my throat and wheezy chest. GP said if i find it really difficult to breathe after using my puffers to call him. I am going back to work tomorrow and then not back until next wednesday.

i think the medication is wearing off me now and i am not so exhausted like Tuesday. That was terrible.

It's really hot here, i was planning to go to the beach but not anymore. I am staying inside tidying up a bit and then colour in with relaxing music with Jersey with me.

I hope we've made the right decision in selling, i think we have. i just have to trust my gut feeling on this and know that it's the beginning of a new life for me and my own family.

i think?? why do i second guess everything??

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 2:29 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. You've most likely already signed to put your house on the market.
I think it's a great decision.
The one thing I learnt from my Mental Health trip through hell, is to follow your gut instinct. It is NEVER wrong.
I wish I'd followed mine nearly 3 years ago. I would have avoided the ptsd and anxiety and suicidal thoughts and depression.
Well, I live and learn.
The reason I'm saying this, is that there may well be times over the next few months where you doubt your decision to sell.
That's to be expected.
But try not to.
Your gut is telling you it's the right thing.
So when you get frustrated with having to pack & declutter & throw out - just remember - all of that is only temporary. Selling and starting afresh is exactly what your gut instinct - or what I call my guardian angel - knows is best for you.
Enjoy your afternoon in the cool of the house. Yes it's hot in central Victoria too.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 2:35 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi guys
Had a crash meltdown earlier today. Called lifeline and they suggested I call the CAT team. I did and got a really nice guy on the phone. I was on the floor crying stabbing the carpet and pretending my mum was in the room. I was yelling at her screaming and crying. Telling her how much I hate her and told her all I ever wanted was a hug and an apology. Then I was stabbing carpet more.
At the same time hubby rings and says he's coming home. He must have sensed something wasn't right. Still on phone to CAT team the guy decided he would speak to hubby. I said that would be a good idea as he doesn't get it. So after that all happened I called my psych and left msg to say not coping and I rang the CAT team. He calls me and says so what's wrong. I told him after coming off meds I'm struggling. He says you tell me that all the time. I then told him I rang the CAT team and he says why? I told him because I can't get hold of you until next week. He said well when they ring you tell them you spoke to me and that's it.
He then says well maybe you should take that med agsin I said you told me to stop them now u want me back on them. He then says no just leave it as is.
OMG I am so f.... pissed off with him. I'm going to write down how I feel and give it to him on Tuesday.
It's like he doesn't want me to call the CAT team. They have so helpful. I still can't do it on my own.
Now hubby home. We are waiting for agent to come. Then might go for a swim.
Need to calm down. After all the energy I used in stabbing and screaming.

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 2:44 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. I'm sorry you got so distressed. But sometimes a good sceam and tantrum really helps.
What about a nice cool shower now to help you calm down a little more and relax.
You'll probably feel fresher in body and mind for when the Real Estate Agent comes.
Sending you a warm hug. Maybe that should be a cool hug, in this weather.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 2:45 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @utopia. ❤️️❤️️❤️️

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 4:42 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Hi @utopia@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Former-Member@Decadian@NikNik@CherryBomb @Change123@Former-Member@Shaz51 and everyone else (sorry I can't think of other names)

We have signed the papers to sell our home.

It's official. We are having a 4 week campaign and auction on 7 Feb. The real estate agent is very confident we will get a very very good price, as there are no properties at the moment. More people interrested than properties. Also our land is fantastic for developers.

He is being really nice and generous with amount we need to pay him. He knows I suffer depression and anxiety and said anytime i feel nervous to call him. He said he is here to sell our house at the highest price he can get.

I feel confident and have faith in him. I think it's good a quick market campaign so it doesn't drag too long. Last time we tried to sell (2 yrs ago) we had a very long campaign of 8 weeks and then had 1 person offer at auction. The market has changed so much where we live since 2 yrs ago that now is the time to sell.

And we and the agent all have good positive vibes about selling.

So the decluttering begins. Keeping house clean for inspection days and adding flowers in vase and candles as well.

We've done this before so we know what to do to make the house look nice.

I am trying to not think about packing or moving. But the agent said auction is good because there's no conidtion, we can have deposit released so we can purchase something and have a 90 day settlement to give us time.

I have a gut feeling that this time it will sell and we will get much higher than we asked for. Something feels right.

This could be the beginning of a fantastic year for us. It is amazing how my emotions have gone from one minute stabbing the carpet and screaming to calling the CAT team to now feeling a little anxious but happy to sell.

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 6:09 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Brilliant news @BlueBay. My fingers are crossed for a great offer at Auction.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor05 Jan 2017, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: not feeling good

Great news @BlueBay my friend xx

My fingers are crossed for a great offer at Auction.

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