not feeling good

I am thinking of you @BlueBay

@BlueBay It sounds like you are really comfortable with your new GP. That's awesome. I only found a good GP last year and it has been a real eye-opener to see the difference that a decent GP can make. I'm sorry you have to go through the distress of telling your story again. When I was therapist shopping last year, after about the third failed attempt I wrote my story down. Thus I was able to just hand it to therapists take-four, five, six, seven, eight and nine. Starting over is AWEFUL. I super hope the psychiatrist you are seeing today is a good fit. I also super hope you get what you know you need in terms of hospital. I struggle to understand why anyone would want to be in a psychiatric ward, but I recognise that this is most likely because I have only ever experienced the public system. I super hope you get what you need today.

Hi @Phoenix_Rising @utopia @Former-Member @oceangirl @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Zoe7

I had my appt with this new psych. He was nice, I have seen him around the hospital when I have stayed.

He asked lots of questions, from childhood abuse (yes I sobbed) to school, parents, abusers etc etc.

I told him I am not sleeping, get angry, very emotional and stay emotonal for days. He told me that he feels i am not on enough meds. The meds i am on are for depression and not for moods. He said i need meds to help with the specific parts of my brain. And being hormonal and peri-menopausal he said a lot of peoples trauma comes out even more so at the age of menopause. Interesting.

He said I have complex PTSD, so it will take a long time to unpeel the layers.

He then wants to refer me to a professor who is studying menopausal women with depression, anxiety and ptsd. That's interesting.

But for now - hosptial admission urgent request made to the hospital. He has given me a script for new meds to start asap. And between now and hospital i have to contact the local CAT team or he will contact them today to notify them to call me daily.

He was concerned and will now discuss my issues with my treating psych but he says he may take over while i am in hospital or they both can treat me together. They will decide. He suggested at least 3 weeks stay. I told him i have to pack our house and we are going to Qld for a week in Mayt. He said don't worry about packing and if i am in hospital i am allowed to leave for a week but need to come back in on arrival back home.

He has ordered blood test resuylts of my thryoid to see what that is doiong.

So he was a really nice psych, very understanding. Let's hope he can help.

I better go, dinner is ready. Back later.

After my intense emotional day - I am feeling CRAP.

Emotional; angry; frustrated; traumatised;

I am having negative lots of SH. why is this happening. I am stuck right now.

Angry where I could rip something, cut something up; bash something or stab something 😞

Grab a pillow @BlueBay and let it out. It's been a really emotional day for you today and it is natural that once the adrenalin hit subsides you will be feeling a bit crap. Ride this wave out - talk if you need or I'll just sit with you.

....still on your shoulder...

Zoe