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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor11 Apr 2017, 1:14 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I don't care about my stupid safety plan. I don't know who to change too. I really couldn't give a Sh##t anymore.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor11 Apr 2017, 3:05 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay

...still sitting on your shoulder...

and sending you strength, courage and love...

Zoe

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor11 Apr 2017, 3:33 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I am struggling after today's session. Can someone help me dissect my aession. Any @Former-Member around.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember11 Apr 2017, 3:46 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

hows your daughter travelling in her pregancy? @BlueBay

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember11 Apr 2017, 4:15 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay,

Sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. Sounds like it was a tough session! Although I know it's probably not much consilation right now, sometimes the hard ones are the best, it usually means you contacted something that's challenging for you.

Maybe now might be a good time to consult the safety plan you worked on last week with Nik? You did such a great job putting this together, perhaps now is a perfect opportunity to put it in to practice!

supernova.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor11 Apr 2017, 4:24 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Former-Member
I went for a walk before. Now laying down. Yes it was a hard session but my psych could have at least understood me. I wanted to Sh before to "show him" how angry I am.
To let go of the Emotional attachment with my parents is very difficult. I don't know if I can ever let go. I blame myself even though my psych says it's not my fault. It is my fault for telling them of my childhood abuse.
@Former-Member my daughter is doing well. She is showing a little.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember11 Apr 2017, 4:26 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

i dont know how far along you have to be to tell its gender but do you know the babys gender yet @BlueBay

if you dont what are you hoping for or what do you think itll be

i reakon a girl

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor11 Apr 2017, 4:29 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member still a bit too early. Next scan at about 20 weeks will be able to tell. But I have a feeling it's a girl. My daughter and her partner think the same. They will surprise us with a gift of colour if gender to surprise us.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember11 Apr 2017, 4:37 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

so excting @BlueBay

have they got any particular names picked out?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Change123Senior Contributor11 Apr 2017, 5:02 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay

Dont do this to yourself, you are in no way to blame for telling your parents about the abuse.

Any normal caring parent would want to know these things so they can support and love you through this ordeal. Its not our fault that our parents were arseholes and uncaring and if this stresses her out now GOOD she has to live with the fact that she didnt do the right thing by you!

I dont know what to say about the hold they have as I probably still have this with my mother, I havent seen her for many many years and as I have said before if I bumped into her right now it scares me how I would react. I hope I would be mature and assertive and tell her what I think but I'm terrified I will revert to that little child of " yes mum no mum and do as I'm told" but we are passed that we have endured so much in life. Its funny how we try to please the abuser, our minds our one hell of a thing.

You can do this @BlueBay, think of your new future that beautiful house you will be moving into soon, your husband and kids just think about your mum and think " f you" I'm better than you AND YOU ARE!!!!

Take care thinking of you.

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