Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

1,611 - 1,620 of 12,926

1...161 162 163...1,293

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 10:51 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Zoe7 @Former-Member @utopia @NikNik @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar

SH thoughts are here again. I went to see my GP this morning, just came home and am emotionally drained. Walked into his rooms and broke down pretty much straight away. he asked what's been happening so i told him - worked moved shops; work's been busy and stressful, i've worked extra shifts; i';m exhausted, we sold our home and bought another one; have to pack and i am so overwhelmed.

i told him i am too scared to start for fear of me breaking down emotionally. i am frozen and too scared to start.

this may sound really stupid but it's the truth. the anxiety is very high and that's why SH is on my mind a lot lately.

he asked how much i have exercised and i told him not much at all; told him i am not sleeping so he suggested i take my med to help with that.

he said i don't deal with change very well and i tend to SH when not coping. he said he will monitor me over moving house. i told himm i want hospital again but he said it is up to my psych.

i told him i am being stupid and apologised to him for taking up his time - to which he said don't be sorry you have come because you needed a chat and are emotional; it';s good to get it out. because no one at home will listen and he does.

i didn't go for my walk because i can't. it's like i freeze with the thought of going on my own, so i will stay home. i should pack a box?? i can't even do that; the thought of putting stuff in a box is so difficult.

you all probably think i am being silly - but the anxiety is high and too overwhelming.

i don't know what to do?

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 11:11 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

You are not being silly @BlueBay. You are struggling with change. Anybody would be overwhelmed by the amount of changes occuring in your life.
Please, when the urge to SH becomes too strong, please, instead of your normal SH method, could you try holding a few ice cubes in your hand instead. Other members here have said that it works well and can satisfy that need - but without risk.
Now to get you back up and feeling more capable.
* make yourself a nice cup of your favorite tea
* take your tea and go and sit in your garden.
or
* sit at the window where you can see into your garden.
* focus on what you can see and hear in your garden
* slowly drink your tea - savoring every sip

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember04 Apr 2017, 11:12 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

lots of hugs being sent you way

im afraid i dont think ill be much help today @BlueBay as you prob saw from my other thread

@Faith-and-Hope@utopia are great advice givers

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 11:13 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Turn on some music @BlueBay and make a cup of tea .... see if that helps you to re-set your emotions a bit .... even if it just contributes towards changing tracks and you can pull out 10mins of colouring in, followed by 10mins of knitting .....

Keep moving yourself along until your mood shifts .... setting one task after another can help push the sh thoughts aside. You need to try to put other thoughts into your head to compete with the negative ones .... keep adding positive thoughts and activities to your day in whatever form you can.

Hugs .... 💙🐚💕

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 11:30 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Thanks @Former-Member 💙

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 11:33 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @utopia

I have just vac the carpet upstairs. Lots of Jersey's hair!!!

I have got the boys sheets from their beds and put that load on.

The SH thoughts are still with me. I just had a coffee. There are 2 basket loads of clothes to put away and i can't do it. i am frozen right now. i don't want to move.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 11:36 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Then just do some deep breathing exercises where you are for the moment until you can unfreeze again ....

Wtg @BlueBay ..... you're doing a great job so far ..... breathe through the freeze moments.

💙🐚🎶

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 11:39 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. Sit down for 5 minutes. Take a few deep breaths. Then slow down your breathing.Focus. BBreathe in .... breathe out ...
nothing to worry about ... when you notice other thoughts - turn your attention back to your breath.
Breathe in .... breathe out ...
allow yourself 5 minutes to sit and really put allthat aattention on your breath. You are safe.
Breathe.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 12:31 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Owlunar

Had a little melt down before and rang Lifeline. I so wanted to SH but something is stopping me.

I cried so much on the phone while chatting to this nice lady from Lifeline. I am sure now that there is still some underlying emotional stuff in relation to my parents or more my mum that is holding me back.

I told Lifeline that I am scared to pack and move; part of of me knows it will be good, but the other part, the BPD part is so scared i freeze everytime i think i should pack a box. i am so scared it will open up a whole lot of more emotional stuff.

i had to end the call because my youngest son came home from Uni and i didn't want him to see me the way I was. i quickly wiped my tears and put on a mum face instead of a child screaming for help, love and support. it is so hard to do.

I just had a few crackers with cheese/tomato for lunch. i think i will drive to the beach and try very hard to get out of the car and go for a walk.

will see how i go. sh still there but it is so hard to not think about it. Hoping that @NikNik comes on soon so we can work out a safety plan.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 Apr 2017, 12:34 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

just changed my mind - i cant go for a walk. i feel safe at home atm.

this is ridiculous i don't know what is going on in my mind.

1,611 - 1,620 of 12,926

1...161 162 163...1,293