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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay my sister , sending you tender hugs xoxo

Pleas try other options like a nice bath, hiding in your bedroom listening to some music ,

Going to bed And cuddling a pillow and doing breathing and thinking of something else

Sitting with you xxxxx

In response to: not feeling good

MDTSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

hey @BlueBay I hear you. Arugments like that are silly and can bring us down can't they

What are you doing atm ?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I'm not talking to anyone at home
I seriously need to self harm

ok for now so far I've done nothing

csnt say I won't though

I need a drink to calm down

@MDT

In response to: Re: not feeling good

MDTSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

take a drink please @BlueBay
Maybe even take an early night ?

You sound stressed out my friend

In response to: Re: not feeling good

MaggieSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Incoming hugs @BlueBay 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@Maggie @MDT @Shaz51 @outlander @Owlunar @Emelia8
I think there's too many adults at home

I know it is

I don't know what to think anymore

think my son will move out as soon as Covid lockdown is lifted.

life is a struggle

self harm was on my mind a lot last night

it's so hard

I try so hard to keep the family altogether but hubby and son argue a lot

even when son was a teenager

I think that because hubby was a only child he never grew up with siblings arguing fighting playing etc so he has no idea.
a lot of things I can see he is this way because of his very unhelpful upbringing.

at times I want to escape the trigger of fights arguments because it really affects me. I want to get in my car snd drive off. Then I have suicude thiughts.
I'm sorry to worry you all.
I think sometimes thst I'm a bother to my family friends and even here on the forum.


In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember

Re: not feeling good

Hey there @BlueBay this is a lot to carry. Please know we all sit with you in this journey. Sometimes it can get very overwhelming in day to day life, throw in the global pandemic and it's understandable to be feeling all of this. If you feel an urge to self-harm again it's really important you get in touch with someone such as SCBS or prior you could have a chat to the SANE Help Centre Sending loads of strength today.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Angels333Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay it's tough for you at the moment. Don't self harm it just brings shame. You are so special here on the forum.

XOXO ANGELS333

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Angels333 ,

I wanted to jump in here and say that self-harm is not right or wrong. It is one of the ways many do to cope with distressing thoughts or feelings. It is, however, really important to talk to someone if you're having thoughts of self-harm 🌻

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Angels333Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member true, I didn't mean to come across judgemental.

XOXO ANGELS333

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