not feeling good

I'm around for a little while too @BlueBay ... Here with you.

@Former-Member @Shaz51 @rb39

Thank you.
I can't talk right now. I'm a bit of a mess.
just want to be alone. My fsmily are home abd we are going to friend fir dinner. I just want to hibernate. I don't want to do snything. Reflecting this year is not good.
I'm sorry I just can't be here right now

leaving you lots of tender hugs my darling sister @BlueBay

Your anger and hate is consuming you and you have nowhere to place it @BlueBay and those that you hate or are angry at have no idea and therefore it in no way affects them - the only people this affects is you and your immediate family around you. Run away if you want but again - what would that achieve and who would that hurt? The same with self harm - it only hurts you and achieves nothing more than pain for yourself. You have often said that you want others to know how you are feeling - then tell them - they cannot get that from you hurting yourself.

There has been a lot for you to deal with this year but there is also nothing you can change without you wanting to change it. Your mother is not going to change and yet you have expectations there that will never be met - time to change those expectations and not get so distressed when she does not even come close to meeting what you would ideally want. 2 years ago you did not even have a relationship with her so there were no expectations there that she would be there for you in any way - now you have reconnected but quite frankly you want what she cannot provide and she has shown that repeatedly ...it is time to re-evaluate what you actually want and what can actually be achieved out of that relationship ...you often say she will never change therefore you are the one that needs to change your approach.

There is also no point in continually blaming everyone that has hurt you for the here and now - that is no way to live and continues to cause you harm. There are things in our lives that have happened - however horrible - but if we let those things continue to consume us then we have no quality of life at all.

Your work situation is also horrible but it is what it is - that you also cannot change. Have a break for a couple of weeks if you need when you finish then begin looking for another job after some rest. I know it is super scary thinking you will not find work again but this is the hand you have been dealt currently and you do not know what is out there until you begin looking. I do know jobs are few and far between - and that is also a scary thing to think about but there may also be the perfect job for you out there and beating yourself up about it right now is also not serving any purpose but to affect your mental health negatively. Sometimes acceptance of the things we cannot change is the first step to beginning to move forward - so I see that with some acceptance and with channeling your energies into the things you can change can actually be not only a positive for you but allow you to have a better life ...that I know you want but it really is up to you BB.

I agree with @Zoe7 @BlueBay

There is nothing you can do about the past and you can't see the future either - and if you want this year to be better then it's really up to you to take control over what you can and leave the rest behind

I wish 2020 to be a great year for you - so you really need to pick yourself up because meltdowns and anger can't help you - and no one can change your life - only you can do that

And I speak from a place in my past when some one said that to me and I started to change just about everything about my life - not all at once of course - but one thing at a time -

You will find another job if you put your mind to it and sell yourself - present yourself in the best light possible - you are a lot better than you think and everyone at some stage has to put their best self out there and win the confidence of someone else

Actually - melting-down in front of your doctor released tension but what he said was important - you will get a job and you will be okay - it's time to stop being so hard on yourself

I know it's really hard but it's time to start believing the good things people say to you and stop believing the bad thoughts you keep having about yourself - you want a better life of course and that's how to do it

And no one can do it for you -

I'm sorry life is to tough for you and hope things improve - but you have to do that for yourself

Dec

@BlueBay

Wanting to wish you a happy new year for 2020. I hope things are getting a little brighter and easier for you each day. Please take care of yourself.

I'm leaving for a while
Can't cope on here

I feel very uncared for especially in the past week since my last post

I feel like I'm a "nobody" now

I know I'm not the only one who is suffering on here

there are many

I feel very very alone

and it hurts

@Former-Member

no one would miss me

numb stuck and emotional is how I'm feeling

Hi BlueBay

I am sorry to see that you are experiencing these thoughts. I am sure that many of the forum members and those at the SANE team do not believe that you are a "nobody" and will miss you.

You have been very supportive of other forum members and hopefully you will have found that others have been supportive of you during your time on the forums.

But we respect your decision to leave the forums for a while. All the very best in getting support and help you need elsewhere during that time. Please understand that we, the team at SANE Australia, are here for you.

Mika

I'm really sorry @BlueBay that you see no other option than to leave. However, if you are not coping with being here, then I have to respect your decision. I will really miss you, miss having you around, miss our chats and miss your support. You have been a wonderfully understanding listener to me over quite a long time now. I think we understand each other quite well.

Please utilise all the real life supports you have available to you. Have the confidence to apply for jobs you want. You can do it ... with or without us. Do it for you. And know there will always be friends back here who will welcome you back with love and care.

Sending love, kind thoughts, and healing wishes your way.

Much love

Sherry 😔

i will miss you my sister @BlueBay

sending you lots of tender hugs