not feeling good

@BlueBay

Just wanted to let you know that Jupiter has finished for the day, but I am just reaching out to let you know you aren't alone here. I am hearing how scared and distressed you are so please don't hesitate to get in touch with us via email or through the Helpline if you need some extra support.

You WILL be okay @BlueBay . And I agree with @Shaz51 ... if your mum asks you about your abuse ... be honest with her. But try to remember that the truth may be difficult for her to accept. It doesnt necessarily mean she doesnt believe you, only that she doesnt WANT to believe that it happened. She likely has feelings of guilt, deep down suspecting what was happening. But in my opinion, she should be told what happened under her watch. It could even lead to a much better relationship with your mum than what you currently have. So much has remained unsaid for way too long, I feel. Too much hidden, too many secrets, too much resentment. Not a good basis for any relationship.

You can get through this. Tuesdays funeral will be difficult for all of your family. But all these feelings you are experiencing will ease. Everything will be okay. 😀

Sherry 💕

I've been telling you that you'll be okay @BlueBay

We can support you here but imo you need to talk to a professional about this

Just reading your post makes it seem that your thinking is really chaotic

Perhaps you need to be in hospital right now - you had an agreement with your psyche that you have 4 hospital admissions this year and as far as I know you only have had two

You need to be proactive - you have shared here - that's good - but you need someone one-on-one right now

Have you rung Life Line or one of the other support lines?

Please do something to care for yourself

Dec

Hi @BlueBay

I just read back and see that your brother's call has triggered you again...You didn't need that but it happened

He can't do anything to you now - it's all over bar the shouting and your anxiety about it - very understandable anxiety

And so what if your mother finds out - you can choose what to say to your mother -

They can't make things any worse - you will be okay if you hold fast to that

But I am really concerned that it's really hard for you and I think you need support one-on-one

Send massive hugs and best thoughts

Dec

Hi @Owlunar @Former-Member @Shaz51 and others

I chatted online to lifeline which helped

I also emailed my psych and told him I need some meds to calm me down esp for the funeral day. My doctor won't give me any.
im waiting to hear back

I'm up and after breakfast I'm going for a walk.

thank you very much for your support last night. I truly appreciate it. You all mean so much to me. ❤️❤️❤️

I went fir my walk alone which was good. On my walk I decided to call the CAT team. The guy on the phone was very nice and understanding. He suggested I see my dictir today or another at the clinic and ask fir a prn med to calm me. If they refuse he said to tell them to ring him and he'll ok it.
I feel ok knowing this.

@Owlunar @Former-Member @Shaz51 and others
Saw another doctor this morning. She gave me strong meds for my sciatica psin. Never had this pain before and it bloody hurts. She refused to give me a calmer as she didn't want to go over my doctor. i asked her to call the CAT team as the guy suggested but she didn't.
I left and called the CAT team again. He was annoyed that she gave me nothing. So he said he will call her. I was then very scared that I would get her into trouble and she would hate me.
she called and said to go bsvk in.
she wasn't angry with me at all m. She was ok with it. She wants me to see my reg doctor on Monday.
the guy at the hospital rang me bsvk to see if I got script. He was telling me to stay safe tske my meds and call him anytime over the weekend leading up to funeral.
a great outcome. I now feel ok knowing I can take a med in the day.

In pain tonight with sciatica pain.
I can't find a comfortable position

Also have a possible infection on my face under my eye. It's red puffy and sore.
I'm tired

Been sleeping a lot today

@Owlunar @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @MDT @Maggie @CheerBear snd others reading this

@BlueBay 💙💙💛💛