not feeling good

@BlueBay

Thinking of you. Take good care of you my friend

Hey my friends i am still not coping. i sobbed and sobbed at my GP. he is so good, he sat there and listened to me crap on. i told him i am wasting his time and why does he bother listening to me - he said to me that he cares and that he knows i don't get heard at home so it's good that i can talk to him. he said at the moment my triggers are really dragging me down and that at the moment i am having more down days than good days. he also said that the little cysts on my head are most likely caused by stress. he said i am stressed again and is affecting me so badly. and probably not selling our home is on my mind as well.

he said he wants to me see my psych on tuesday (i have an appt anyway) and see what he says.

i couldn't stop sobbing, it was a huge release for me. now i am even more exhausted. i feel like i have failed as a wife, mother and friend. i failed myself with this detox diet i was doing; can't do anything right. i never do anything good in my life,

i think i will close off for tonight and not sure what is going on in my head. it just seems too much at the moment; i am not sure if i will be on here tomorrow or sunday. i don't know anymore. think i need time alone (wish i was alone somewhere)

i am so exhausted my eyes are sore and tired. all i am doing is yawning, crying, so much in my head. my GP said my thoughts and what i was telling him was very negative and that i cannot see any positive at the moment

for now i need to get some sleep. i am sorry i am not good company at the moment. thanks for all your support

Hi @BlueBay my friend

You have been through so much this week and your emotions are all over the place.I know how hard that is my friend. But you haven't failed you just need someone to listen and to care - so I am here for you - right now and when you need.

Zoe

Do what you need to do @BlueBay but please keep yourself safe and remember that little butterfly, sitting on your shoulder, is me keeping you in the light and letting you know that I am always with you, loving you, caring about you and holding you up along this windy road.

Love and hugs

Zoe

Hey @NikNik

thank you for last night, you were really helpful. I did manage to get myself to bed; feeling very sick and dizzy. Didn't tell hubby but once I got to bed, my head hit the pillow that was it for me for the rest of the night. i am sure it was my anxiety and exhaustion that got the better of me.

@Zoe7 you are such a special person; thank you for being there last night for me, the hugs and love.

@oceangirl @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @Owlunar

I'm okay (just) - going to have a sleep very soon. exhaustion hasn't gone away. at least i went for a walk along the beach this morning. but feeling really crap, like i would snap at anyone that came too close or annoyed me today.

@BlueBay You are so sweet - thankyou for your lovely comments

Here for you anytime I can my friend

So pleased to hear you got some sleep - I slept for nearly 9 hours!!!!!! That must be a record - it had been over 60 hours since I last slept so that really only averages out at 3 hrs per night

Surprisingly enough - after all that sleep - I am still exhausted too!!! The last few days really have taken a lot out of me - I do feel a lot better now but it was a really tough couple of days - and I know you know what that is like!

So glad that you got to the beach for a walk - I can't take Toby today which is a shame because it is a lovely day - but I really am too tired to drive. I might sit outside in the garden for a while - when the neighbours kids go inside and stop squealing!!!!! (new neighbours - Toby isn't used to their voices yet)

Hope you have a nice relaxing afternoon and find a little light in your day - remember I am always sitting on your shoulder - brushing my wings against your cheek to let you know I am there with you

Many, many hugs and all my love today @BlueBay

Zoe

@Zoe7 I always cry (nice cry!!) LOL when I read your posts to me. You are such a sweetie xx

Such a caring soul. Yeah i get what you mean about squealing kids. my neighbour has 2 girls (5,3) and OMG they scream so loud. I think i will go and colour in a bit and then have a snooze. enjoy your afternoon; i will be back later on to chat. xxoo