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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

oceangirlSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay

I hope you are okay. Take good care of you.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

It's too late I've read it. And it's too late. Pain memories hurt is all back. Shit this is horrible night. Rocking myself

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. I'm sitting with you. Holding your hand. We are in the here and now. Have a look around. you are safe now. No one can touch you. No one can hurt you.
It's Thursday night. After a warm day the weather is cooling down. The birds have gone to bed. And I'm right besides you.
If it's okay, I'll just sleep next to you tonight. You are safe now.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thank you @oceangirl xxoo

@utopia I needed you last night holding my hand. thank you my beautiful friend. I was scared to close my eyes, go to sleep. i was struggling. i shouldn't have read the post but I did and now it's too late.

I am so exhausted i feel like crying so much. i have made an appt to see my GP tonight again. I don't know anymore. i feel like i am done.

better go no chance of staying home today, i so wish i could. and you know i am so pissed off with my psych yet again, i rang to leave a msg with him to let him know i am not coping. i would have hoped he would have called to see how i am. NO he didn't call. and today he is not there. i see him on tuesday so i am going to tell him i am angry with him.

i think i will ring my psychologist and tell her how i am. maybe i can see her this afternoon in which case i can leave early from work.

i am tired @utopia so tired i can't think. i was doing a detox diet only eating veggies and salad, no carbs, no meat, no protein i failed. it was supposed to be a 28 day deteox but i only lasted 3 days. it could be that as well. i can never do anything right or well, always stuffing up

In response to: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay I hope it was nothing I posted last night - so sorry if it was😢
Thinking of you
Sending you love and hugs
Zoe ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

No @Zoe7 not at all. Not angry or hurt by you at all 🙂

It was a post on childhood abuse and I guess I was not in a good frame of mind to even begin to read it but i did and - well you know what happens when you read something that starts to trigger ......... 😞

I don't want to go anywhere today, just want to hide in bed under my doona - but i can't i have to be at work today. i will try to call my pyschologist and see if i can see her this afternoon.

i hope you are okay, i know you have struggled with your meds as well. pls take care

Luv bluebay xxoo

In response to: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay Yep I saw that too 😔
I was already so far down that spiral that it just got mixed in with everything else I was feeling...
I don"t know if this will help but ... imagine today that there is a butterfly sitting on your shoulder - every now and then it will spread it's wings and lightly touch your cheek - that butterfly is me letting you know that I am walking with you and reaching out to let you know I am still with you. When you start feeling alone - lightly touch your shoulder and feel the magic of a friend close by 💕

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@Zoe7 @BlueBay. That's beautiful zoe. So much better than a loud screach from a Cocky - lol.
Not a good time to be so restrictive with your diet bb. Most people can't last on those restrictions. And especially not when dealing with MI issues.
You two girls have to protect yourself around other posts. CSA is not a great topic at the best of times - let alone when you are already struggling with triggers. It even affected my dreams last night - with regard to my old friend and his abuse. So I can't even begin to understand how deep it affects you both.
I was with you both last night. Stretched across the Bass Strait. Poor zoe probably heard me snoring all night. Lucky you feel asleep before me bb.
Sending you both some extra strength today. I'm here for you both. ♥♥♥♥

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay @Zoe7 @utopia ....

@BlueBay .... I am sorry to hear you were triggered last night and struggled with your sleep .... 😔💗💕

I do agree with @utopia though .... detox diets can definitely affect our mood and emotional well-being. Perhaps you can increase the fruit and vegetable content of your diet,and reduce other "heavier" foods without taking it quite so far all at once ? You will still have benefits that way but it should help with emotional stability.

I hope the psychologist can fit you in today. She sounds lovely.

💗💐

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

At doctors now waiting hope he doesn't say I need hospital. Still not good. Feeling nervous.
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