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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

OwlunarSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

I am sorry you are feeldiong so bad - it's the depression - not you - and you have a life with upzndownz - that can cause unease in anyone but you have BPD so that makes it harder

I had a good session about this kind of stuff when I saw my therapist a fortnight ago - I told her that anyone could tell everyone it was okay but inside we know it's not - so here it's fine to let it all hang out and talk about it with everyone - we care a lot and we understand and we love you here

You are part of the forum family - one of us - and an important one - and when things are bleak you can always tell us - it's not at all selfish

Sorry I was not in yesterday - I had a bad day with my back pain and generally - I felt really flat - too tired to fight the pain and when I went to take my night time medication and looked at my notebook and then counted my tablets I had missed my morning dose even though I had written it down - now wonder - I am not supposed to miss a dose of those

So yeah - no could to anyone really - but the main thing was just getting out of the chair and I have run out of cat food

Thinking of you though - even though I could not be bothered opening my computer I still thought of you and hope you were okay

Take it easy and rest today - and know the up-swing in your moods is due to come soon

Dec [hugz]

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. Thinking of you today and sending you love. ♥♥

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Me too @BlueBay .... ❤️💕

In response to: Re: not feeling good

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I hear you @BlueBay I have had a lot of that experience where lots of energy is internalised in my bcody .. I call it pressure .. I think maybe you feel under pressure . breathe .. do your stuff ... take care and dont be too hard on your self about little things.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Appleblossom@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Owlunar@Zoe7

i got my results from blood test - borderline okay. so no iron infusion needed. So why am i so damn tired. i am crying a lot; i am in a state all the time; i am not dealing with stuff like i used to; i am depressed a lot more this week.

anyway, don't worry about me there are others on here that need support more than me.

@zoe7 i hope you can sleep okay tonight. Sending you a big hug

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. For tonight you need to stop asking 'why'. It doesn't help.
The reality is that today is a sad hard day. But it is this moment you are crying. This minute only.
It's a cycle of ups and downs & that sucks having another down cycle. But it's only for this moment - this minute.
If you need to cry - have a cry. But then move on. Make a cup of tea. Have a long shower. Colour in. Hop into bed. Hold something soft in your hands.
Im thinking of you.♥♥

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I have just finished chatting online with Lifeline. Not good. going to bed. i hope tomorrow is a better day. i am SICKf feeling so depressed, in a dark deep hole. i am so emotinoal tonight, my mood swinging so damn low; dont think i will ever get back up.

goodnight my friends xxoo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Try to find three positives in your life to focus on tonight @BlueBay .... your grand baby is obviously one of them .... pick two more and think about their beauty, their positive contribution .... block out everything else to worry about another time.

Hugs .... ❤️💕

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Can't sleep. Trying to focus. Need to stop reading posts. Might try relaxing music on my phone.
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