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I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 5:21 pm AEST

I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

I had a rough call from uni today, I essentially felt blamed for not getting my driver licence already since I’ve been in this course for a while (it makes finding placements harder). I just put it as my circumstances made it hard without elaboration, then she said “right”. I felt judged. Am I a failure for suffering from migraines (migraines can cause mild vision disturbances along with poor concentration, it means I am more likely to speed) and MH? I didn’t explain because it’s my personal life. The placement I turned down in May wouldn’t have been good for my MH either, even if it wasn’t for the distance, vicarious trauma and personal trauma still stings. Now I am looking at getting into a placement that will hopefully be less psychologically demanding. Though no confirmation received yet, I haven’t had the interview

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In response to: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 June 2023, 7:08 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, had dinner just now. It’s actually Eid here for us today, it’s been quiet since it’s a weekday, won’t get the chance to properly celebrate till the weekend. Lamb is commonly eaten during this Eid.

I hope you enjoy your dinner today? Is it Thai style?

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Kyle1Senior Contributor28 June 2023, 8:00 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Have a blessed feast @creative_writer

Lamb is always a treat! 🙏

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember28 June 2023, 8:28 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

Eid. That reminds me I think on the news there was something about Ramadan.

How is Eid related to Ramadan?

Maybe it is not.

In response to: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

OwlunarSenior Contributor28 June 2023, 11:36 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

I was browsing around the forum a bit and I like the name of your thread and thought I would take a look - I don't like having to explain myself either - I don't think we need to in most cases.

I don't have a driver's licence either - I surrendered mine because of my shoulder injury - it was dangerous driving without power-steering and my GP said I needed to stop driving - so that's tough enough - surrendering our licences - without having to tell anyone who asks why - and they do.

It's responsible to do so - I don't know why you don't have yours - it's true that people don't for various reasons - I don't have a valid passport either - I am not planning an overseas trip and haven't for years - so why would I have one - I've had to explain that too -

So I hear you - and I agree - why do people want to know why we don't drive or travel? I have a Key Pass for interstate travel - sometimes people want to see it and other times they don't.

Having migraine and MH issues are personal - so I understand - and you are recovering from some kind of trauma - though - and I am for you - I hope you get a placement - and also - not too many personal questions

All the best with that

Owlunar

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 June 2023, 4:18 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, Eid al-Fitr is after Ramadan. We are having Eid al-Adha right now

@Owlunar, I’m sorry to hear about your shoulder injury, that must be hard. It is true people don’t drive for different reasons. I know people are often more sympathetic once you explain, but I don’t feel like that’s necessary. I just have one step away from securing the placement that I can take with public transport. It would’ve been an 30min stressful drive otherwise, the area gets quite busy and the roads can get narrow. I am just hoping that I stay well, doing things while in pain isn’t so nice. I also get those lovely auras, mine are generally blind spots, but at least they don’t tend to last for too long each time. The placement is part time too, so hopefully can get rest in between

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember29 June 2023, 4:32 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

Thanks for Eid al-Far update.

I see your other reply to @Owlunar who uses public transport.

My attitude if someone comes by bus is they came by bus. I do not care why. I have no real interest. As long as they are where they are meant to be, the rest has nothing to do with me.

If I go to the city I often go by train. No stress. No parking issues. Get on a tram anywhere.

I wish you would not worry so much about what others think and feeling obliged to explain yourself.

When you go shopping. Does the cashier ever say "sorry i was a bit sliw today because .................." No

Accept others as we are with all our faults without feeling the need to know why we are imperfect"

From reading your posts you sound accepting of others "warts and all"

Let others accept you "warts and all" and only explain to those you have to like a GP.

I understand there is a culture issue.

I want to hear you are doing Placements. Focus on that.

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 June 2023, 4:42 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, I would probably be taking public transport to the city. I can’t imagine driving to uni, would be too much of a hassle.

I feel like my mood has plummeted this afternoon, maybe I need to stop thinking about my unmet emotional needs. If I get on with things, maybe the pain will go away, if only suppression could last

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember29 June 2023, 4:45 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

To answer a question.

My rice and meat sauce was Thai.

No idea how they make it so yummy.

And it looks like the same again tonight.

What is the Chefs choice on your Menu tonight?

Lamb?

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 June 2023, 5:00 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, I think I’ll like I’m going vegan for dinner. I’ll be having vegetables. What about you?

Does anyone else find it hard to trust even therapist? I guess it’s early day, I recently got a new counsellor with a service, and I have no idea what to say. I get so stuck with new people 😔. Wasn’t able to blow off all my steam this counselling session. I can’t even tell if this counsellor is for me, I guess time will tell, since I tend to be very closed off at the start

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember29 June 2023, 5:04 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

Vegan or vegetarian is great.

I do eat at a vegetarian place sometimes.

Super nice.

Funny how many still need meat.

Lucky we are all different!

Who would write the rules if we all had to be the same.

Even God gives us a free will to follow or not. But realises we are all different

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