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I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 5:21 pm AEST

I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

I had a rough call from uni today, I essentially felt blamed for not getting my driver licence already since I’ve been in this course for a while (it makes finding placements harder). I just put it as my circumstances made it hard without elaboration, then she said “right”. I felt judged. Am I a failure for suffering from migraines (migraines can cause mild vision disturbances along with poor concentration, it means I am more likely to speed) and MH? I didn’t explain because it’s my personal life. The placement I turned down in May wouldn’t have been good for my MH either, even if it wasn’t for the distance, vicarious trauma and personal trauma still stings. Now I am looking at getting into a placement that will hopefully be less psychologically demanding. Though no confirmation received yet, I haven’t had the interview

79 replies

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In response to: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember21 June 2023, 5:48 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

So many jobs need placements now.

When l did mine, many arrived by bus or got a lift.

Is public transport an option?

Others may disagree, but do not worry if perceived to be judged. The finish line is the qualification.

Instead of stressing about a comment on no car, focus on a solution like public transport.

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 5:59 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, I’m going to be using public transport. It’s just that I’ve been told not having a drivers license, let alone a car puts me at a disadvantage because there aren’t many options with reasonable travel times near me by public transport

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember21 June 2023, 6:03 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

Do you feel disadvantaged without a car?

Can you afford to maintain a car?

Unless you are studying to be mechanic, plumber etc to carry tools you have to decide if the fewer jobs suits.

Does that suit you?

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 6:08 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, uni is making me feel disadvantaged, I was more than happy to get a placement with reasonable public transport travel time. I guess they couldn’t really allocate me to a suitable one in May. It’s like the placement coordinator was angry that I didn’t take the May placement. a) it was far and b) probably wouldn’t have been good for my MH (I didn’t mention that of course). Other people did however get placement that were close to my house, I guess I was just unlucky

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember21 June 2023, 6:43 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

I would not take it too personal.

Keep your focus on the end goal.

That is to complete studies

Many studies you need placements

Have you made it ckear you need placements near public transport.

Distance is yiur choice then.

My work neighbour lost his license for 2 years i think. The 30 minute drive is about 1.5 hours public transport.

Try and find a solution. Try and do placements, pass, get certificate then see what happens

Any thoughts?

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 7:00 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, they know I’m going to be taking public transport. I have been in the process of getting one approved, it is a distance, probably a bit less than the May one too. I think the placement option I’m currently looking at is less likely to retraumatise and trigger me. I think the placement coordinator would’ve understood if she knew I had MH and migraines, maybe she would’ve been more understanding. I just hate explaining my complex history, my personal life is my personal life

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember21 June 2023, 7:11 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hu @creative_writer

I read, the next placement is closer.

The next placement you can access with public transport.

The next placement will not be traumatic.

Maybe the coordinator is listening to you without having to know more?

Not everyone needs to know all.

All sounds positive to me.

What do you think of the outcome?

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, it is a positive outcome, but I am afraid the coordinator judged me. Maybe I am just too emotional or overthinking. I haven’t been well, I had an aura followed my migraine this afternoon

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Unknown userMember21 June 2023, 8:59 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

Hi @creative_writer

No indication if judged.

We have to realise everyone has something happening in their life.

We have to accept we will be judged and we do judge others.

Sometimes we judge their reactions.

I cannot see how you were judged.

Happy if you let me know if you want.

It is now time to focus on tomorrow.

Focus on clothes and things for placements. Move forward now.

Great outcome.

Decide if you are taking lunch, appropriate clothes, phone charged etc

Well done

In response to: Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

creative_writerSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 9:13 pm AEST

Re: I don’t like feeling obliged to explain

@Former-Member, she asked me if I was going to get my license soon, and said how I’ve been in this course for so long already, almost like I had no excuse to not have it by now. It sounds small and silly, but it’s like whatever I do, it’s never enough.

I haven’t actually officially been accepted for the placement yet since I haven’t had the interview, will see, being in the process is a good sign

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