Broken very broken

@Redraw lol .. I took a while to find comebacks .. years .. but I will remember that line .. but only if needed for a levelling. I managed it my way .. that lady went away eventually. It is difficult to broach these topics but they came up with a young woman in new choir .. hope I am walking inclusively but not too apologetically. I am in a bit of a stand up for Aussie kulcha mood lately, tho critical about the bits I dont like.

Starting a project with a new Aussie oratorio... who would have thought ...

Due to my slowness at talking back and possible poor people skills, I need all the help I can get to manage the scrapes I seem to get into. A challene for me is batting the ball back .. keeping it light but not a walk over.

Tonight was interesting as it is only the 4th night I had sung with this choir .. so its a new group .. tho also a few familiar faces ..thinking reflecting and trying to tune into a few body language and interaction subtleties.

Yeah I get ya about the Trepanning thing .. I figured I;d diddled myself out of the pop a pill mantra .. so it was a fleeting hope of some respite.

I dont see modern music just in decades .. tho I know its common .. I had to look up the 27 club .. I had forgotten what it was about .. yes very sad .. turbulent times... and a lot of us were impacted by them .. like a war in Bosnia or the Congo.

I found it interesting that Bowie and Patti Smith were androgynous in very different ways and that they are treated with respect in the media when I am still recovering from a sense of guilt at having ever been to a rocknroll gig ...

Nite for now .. gotta go.

I have all the old twilight zones on DVD, there are very few that aren't good if any, but that one did seem quite apt given the situation, of course it's hard to say whether it's really a happy or sad ending I guess it's how you decide to see it.

Still rather crappy, in pain and lonely, sooooooooo........... my usual self, mask on for the outside world, listening to music sitting out the back, do the first of my daily walks soon, thinking how many people with so much more to hold on to have let go, and hurt a bit more, neither the alpha nor the omega instead some lunatic standing off to the side looking on lamenting the shallowness and moral corruptness of society with a confusion creasing my face whilst also hating myself for my weakness and worthlessness both socially and in general. Were there a just and merciful creator I have to feel that I have suffered enough, for whatever that should mean.

thank you for your message

At least the unique and strange have the capacity to find a mate, with many like me the human race would be doomed as we have no social skill, no confidence and no aggression and are it seems generally unliked hence weak and worthless

Previous relationship yeah not really, someone I had known for a long time and could talk to a bit that decided to use me for my support, compassion and decency for a couple of months before turning their back on me and ignoring me while let's say for the sake of decency hooking up with random people. To call it a relationship is a significant leap wouldn't even be seen in public with me everything hidden so I may as well of been the elephant man