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Something’s not right

Broken very broken

Broken very broken

I can see the darkness within and without, the sepia tone weeping through the ever bleakening reality, would that my mind would or could create the world I wish could be real even if that meant being locked in a room for the rest of my days, like it would make a heck of a lot of difference in my life I am already seen as a loser and I don't know like I have some sort of retardation and who knows what else. My chest an open wound my heart crushed against my rib cage weeping through the very structure designed to protect it, my bones compressing under the weight of all the pain, I whats the point

146 replies

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In response to: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

Merely a convenience, a means to an end, there when required easily disposed of,

In response to: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

@Redraw. I'm trying hard to not swear. Use your imagination - because I'm sure you can figure out a word or two I would use for her.
I really hate people like this. What's in it for them. No compassion or even human decency for another. Such a shallow life.
I still believe in human beings as a race. But I wouldn't mind if that zombie war hits soon and we wipe out people like that.
I'm stepping out of my comfort zone this weekend. Tomorrow I'm going to an Art Gallery by myself. I want to have a look at an artists work - for real - instead of just on the Internet or tv. I've never been to an Art Gallery before. So I hope I can just walk in and do what I want to do - without anyone wanting to stop and talk to me.

In response to: Re: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

I have been to the Melbourne gallery a few times mostly as part of school but a few other times, saw a Van Gogh exhibit when I was young that was good, another time it was more photos and that didn't impress me much I stuck to the other paintings, been a long time since I have been to any real gallery I check out the exhibits down here there is some good stuff, the price tags don't impress me I think the what I would describe as crazy prices detract from the quality, and especially when you see unimpressive paintings at thousands of dollars that just makes me sad

In response to: Re: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

As for her and other people like her that were non intimate, for all the pain and hurt and self anger they have provided me I can't hate them, I can't even dislike them, I may not want anything to do with them I may not respect them but I can't hate them, and were they to come to me in need I likely would still help them why because it's my nature, like the frog and the scorpion I'm the frog.

In response to: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

@Redraw. I remember going in to a Centrelink office years ago when I separated from my husband - but I was still living in the same house (not recommended). We both had to fill in forms to 'prove' we were no longer a couple. Some of the questions were:
If your ex needed emotional help - would you give it?
If they needed financial help would you give it? There were about six different questions like this. I answer "yes of course" to all of them. His response - "piss off, no way".
My way if thinking is if someone needs help and you can help - you help them. And when you have loved someone - even more reason.
I'm going to a small gallery. Oh god I hope it's a small gallery.
And on Sunday I'm off to a festival on my own. So - will see how I go. It's a fair bit of driving to do. But if I get stuck or tired - I'll just pull over and have a nap or play a relaxation ap and focus on my breathing

In response to: Re: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

Small gallery sounds ok, probably like the exhibition I went to recently, as for a festival I am not sure how I would go with that let alone lots of driving, but relaxation apps can be helpful

In response to: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

@Redraw - if I'm starting to feel a bit 'restless' or out of sorts - I find listening to relaxation aps or meditating really helps me to refocus. The trick is doing it before my mood plummets.
How was your walk today? Come across anything interesting?

In response to: Re: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

Two seperate walks as usual been picking up the pace a bit, first one not much to see really just magpies, plovers, and insects, then at sunset longer walk past farms, the usual wallabies but littlens too,

In response to: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

I've noticed a large number of young kangaroos late last year that should have still been with their mums. But the illegal hunters had been through the area. <br>That then meant more road deaths of these vulnerable ones. And of course the wild dogs in the mountains. So sad. So unnecessary. <br>Before I moved to the country - I had no idea of the numbers of wildlife.<br>So many wombats and echidnas and wallabies I get to see now.<br>So I imagine your evening walks @Redraw - would be amazing and a great time to see the wildlife.

In response to: Re: Broken very broken

Re: Broken very broken

Usually get to see a variety of wildlife, echidnas turn up regular too they cross roads a lot I recall one day I was watching one walking up the opposite side of the road on the footpath then it crossed over and we was walking along together for awhile

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