“I don’t need people” state of mind

Sitting with you @creative_writer .

Things changes for me. I never would have thought so.

I hear it is dark right now. The thoughts are just there. Just look forward to the day when something shifts. Hope keeps us going.

Hi there @creative_writer

I was looking forward to hear how you went today.

I am glad you feel safe somewhere. And because you feel safe in your bed in your house is fine i think. I am with you there.

Never say more than you want. Your environment sounds safe, so why do you feel unsafe?

Are you overthinking the past?

Are you overthinking generally?

Arabic reading classes sounds great. Are you fluent? Do you read from front or back of the book? Do you read left to right or right to left? Sorry so many questions. I hate questions!

Mask. Hmmm. Don't most people where a mask a lot of the time. I like a show on sbs. Front Up. 11.00am mon to fri often. Andrew Urban asks people in the street to talk about themselves. Some of the stories you would not think that person lived. I feel you are a very caring person with a good heart and trusting. In the bible they warn you about Wolves in Sheeps clothing. People mask themselves as sheep then scam you, abuse you whatever.

Anyway l think we often wear masks because we are private people. People say "how are you?" They mean hello and do not want it all.

As far as tonight, why are you feeling like ugly crying. Is Ugly crying like emotional crying? If so, bring it on. Your emotions may need release.

Do you pray to Allah?

I am with you and it is nice that tyme expressed they are with you.

Hi @creative_writer

I will be logging out soon. That is why l will not reply.

I hope to hear from you tomorrow.

I have to get up about 4.45 - 5.00 to be at market at 6.00am.

The friend l was helping is not coming. So yes it has been courageous.

I was told i was Hypervigilant. Google "Hypervigilance is a condition in which the nervous system is inaccurately filtering sensory information and the individual is in an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity. This appears to be linked to a dysregulated nervous system which can often be caused by traumatic events or PTSD"

I cannot believe l am telling you so much because l do not talk about it. Everyone has a say.

This forum has been good because others have lived or are living matters.

Do you think you are hypervigilant at all?

For me, i have a just reason of not going out a lot. I am sure you also do. We have to strive and enjoy joy. Do not let the past define us.

@creative_writer @tyme

Hi Creative Writer. Adding to the reply to tyme. When you need a quick vent, i can say LifeLine is usually great. I am new to Sane and not sure if they havec24/7 chat. If you get one you are not happy with politely say like "thank you my i prefer to get my thoughts again" or like that. Think about the trigger so you can focus on that.

When you feel unsafe when you are safe, is there a possible threat lurking?

Have you processed why you feel unsafe at that time?

I am Black and White. On or off.

Only let your guard down enough that you have no regrets.

I feel you may in your mind want to let all guards down, tell everyone everything and all is well. NO. Not everyone will really listen or give time. Phsycolhists sessions finish when the clock says. Not the heart.

Then you may leave thjnking l should have said this and not that. Horrible place to be.

I prepare a dot point list of things l want to discuss. I take notes about what is said.

I sence an all or nothing with you. I suggest only openjng up about barriers you feel. I guess something happened.

I had to focus on moving forward. My strategy when l kept going back was: I would imagine l am on a sailing boat moving forward. When my mind was not going forwards and sometimes going back, i would think of my mind like the big sail. I would wind it and wind it with positive ideas, like the sail is full of wind, and allow the sail, mind, carry me forward. So each time l feel i am slipping back, wind the sail. Think positive. Move forwards. Do not stay stuck where you are. Do not drift back. Move forwards!

Hi @creative_writer

The market. I did not sell a lot. But after the cool morning l was in tge sun and had 4 nice trading neighbours. I had some springs l was selling 50c each. Someone was so happy to but 6, l gave him one free. Next wanted 2 for 50c. I said discount only if you buy more. He paid $1.00 for 2. Moral: as you also write, we are always tested. Interesting part is how do we react? That varies with different people.

I hope you can find strengh to move from the past thoughts. Please correct me if I am wrong, do you read the Quaran? If so, is there a "verse or part" that says you will have troubles but be safe. If not so much of faith, the concept is true. If you pray into it and believe it, it may help.

You are wise enough to know that is where you drift. Next time, wind the sail up, boost positive thoughts and be grateful for things like Sanes forum and positive things. Remind yourself it is forwards now. The past memory can be there but the past is no longer going to rob me of All my joy and prosperity to move forward. The new day is created to have joy.

Unfortunartely your mums undersranding professionals take money and do not care is not 100% correct. Some maybe. But not all. Main thjng is you find one you are happy with.

I found a faith based one so they did not think l was cookie for believing in God.

Nice hearing from you.

I hope you let your emotions out last night. You are allowed to.

@creative_writer

I did also say Lifeline is hit or miss

I had more good hits than misses.

And as an ex volunteer you should know well.

Do not focus on the bad ones

There are many more good ones than the odd bad one

Hi @creative_writer

Ex Lifeline volunteer. Amazing. It sounds like the break gave you time to focus on you. I thought you had to pay a hefty fee to volunteer there

Why is talking so hard you mention.

For me the listener does not listen or does not understand and the help they offer is flippant.

So is talking so hard for you or is then an exhaustion from the replies or what do you think?

As an observer of others and ex LL vounteer, do you ever take the back seat and give yourself good advice as if it was someone else you are advising?

I hear your progression and it is so good. Little steps are great.

I hope you day is going well.